Birthday Bashes

The article in Sunday's paper about the amount of money parents spend on their children's birthday's supported my idea that parents today make so many decisions for their children that make them (the parents) feel good and whether it is beneficial to the child is incidental. I'm all for making my child feel special on their birthday (and as I went over-the-top with the Singer's 16th birthday, in some ways I fall into this category) but I think buying "feeling special" is a dangerous and unhealthy thing for our kids. I believe I’ve always thrown great parties for my kids. I love planning the theme and creating fun things to do. But I create the party and in doing so, I am giving of myself (not necessarily my money) to my child. That's the gift. I had a Pretty Princess party where the kids made princess hats from poster boards and streamers (cost was very minimal). I've had a Little Mermaid party where they decorated their party bags with sand and shells. I had a Super Sleuth party where I made code books and then left clues in code that they had to decipher and follow to lead to the final treasure. I enjoyed doing these for my children and feel I taught them the power of giving of yourself. Now, I do admit, I may have jumped out of the boat and into the water with the big bash for the Singer's Sweet 16. And it cost more than I ever thought I'd spend on a birthday party. But I view it differently than what the article refers to. The Singer doesn't know how much the party cost, because I put the party together, piece by piece. What made her feel special weren’t the things of the party, but the time and effort I put into it. She will not be looking for next year's party to top this year's. How much money I spend on you is not an indication of how much love I have for you. That is the danger of the super birthday bashes of today. Too often I hear, "Well, I can afford it, so why not give it to him/her?" I'll tell you why. Because you give them nothing to work for, to dream for, to look forward to. If you have a limo pick them up from school on their 13th birthday (and I have seen it happen), then what do you do for the 16th birthday? Or their wedding? Shouldn't a wedding be in a class all by itself, to show the importance and significance it has in your life? Of course, this would mean you believe your child will marry once and live their married life as a sacred covenant and not just a convenient temporary living arrangement. Children learn so much from their parents. I don't think I want to teach my kids to equate money with love, or teach them that they are entitled to anything in this life. It saddens me that so many grow up with those attitudes (and worries me about the potential spouse-pool being created for my kids).