Love Languages

Back to school time always brings out the insecurities in my girls. They both have pretty good coping mechanisms, but the signs of insecurity are still there. At times like these, they both crave and "request" their primary love language. Gary Smalley has written a number of books about relationships, but his book on the five love languages has really altered the way I interact with those I love. The Imp's love language is definitely Physical Touch. So she was staying close today and when Hubby went back to read tonight, she grabbed her book and went and climbed in next to him. She is a self-confident, independent, emotionally stable girl. She stays that way be being rejuvenate at home. She's asked for her back to be rubbed as she went to sleep every night this week. In a week or two, she'll back off a little. It took me a while to "tune into" the Imp's love language because of the 5 languages, Physical Touch is my "weakest" language. Living with the Imp for almost 13 years, I'm much better at this language than I use to be. The Singer has been "searching" for Words of Affirmation. A little praise and her love tank is all filled up and she's ready to face the world. In the same vein, a harsh comment is devastating to her and I watch what I say especially during these stressful, anxious days of the new school year. As Words of Affirmation is my primary love language, the Singer and I have little problems communicating affection for each other. Hubby's language is Acts of Service (not unusual in men BTW). It's taken 22 years to convince him that a short love note (which takes about 10 minutes to write) has more impact for me than him scrubbing the kitchen floor (a 2 hour task). I highly recommend this book to everyone, but it's a great engagement gift if you know someone who is getting married. While Hubby has learned words are powerful, I've also learned to translate his Acts of Service into the message of love he intends. I guess the best thing about the book is that it has given us (as a family) a vocabulary to talk about our feelings and it has given us a way to classify the way we say, "I love you," to each other.
As I've been reading Cindy's blog often, my girls have heard me comment on how lucky they are to have had the secure life they have. Tonight at prayers, the Imp thanked God for not being in an orphanage or foster home. I call that real progress in recognizing her blessings.