Thoughts sent to me from John

Love the people in your life with your eyes open.

Let them know that they do not need to be perfect to have your love.



Get out there!

Go fly a kite. Literally.

You can do it with your walker, with your wheelchair, with a friend, with a caregiver,

or even if you need a break from caregiving (or any other "trouble").



It doesn’t cost anything but time and the kite supplies.



The weather is hot, so take an cool drink, an umbrella to sit under, or sunscreen.

Take a radio, or a book. Set the kite free, tie it to your wheelchair or to a stake in the ground, and enjoy the moment.



Stay out there for at least 30 minutes. Ponder the power of the wind,

the seemingly magical way the kite flies in one direction or another,

and how there’s a struggle to get it to the right height before it can soar.



Realize the Lord is in control.

Have faith in Him.

Give Him your troubles.

Feel contetment wash over you.

This picture is from 1996 at our family reunion.

Lazy Days of Summer

Today was a great summer day. The girls slept in and while they both did some of their summer school work (reading, primarily), there was lots of time just "hanging out." The pool water is perfect and the weather is hot and sunny (sure beats all the rain they're having in the northeast). I got to some of my summer chores that always make me feel so much better. The pantry is straightened and cleaned. I cleaned out my kitchen drawers, and removed everything from my kitchen counters and cleaned. I went through my "mug" cabinet and got rid of about 10 mugs. We simply accumulate mugs. Students love to give their teachers mugs. Dennis gets mugs from work on a pretty regular basis. Then I sat and shredded papers that had piled up. So I successfully avoided doing any work as an online moderator. So I feel great about all I got done and guilty about all I didn't get done.

My rose bush I was given for Mother's Day is providing me with a bloom or two everyday. When there are two or three openned roses on the bush, it gives off a wonderful scent. I love having fresh cut roses in the house. I may have to go get another rose bush.

Our back yard is beginning to take shape. The new palm tree and the hibiscus bushes along with the oleanders provide a nice view from the pool patio. I live in a suburban subdivision. The houses are really close together, but sitting out back is like sitting in my own private oasis. I don't know how I survived all those years without the pool.

I hate cooking in the summer. I would love a vacation from it all. The girls are suppose to each take a night to cook, but somehow that's as much work (or more) than doing it myself. The Singer is off at Bush Gardens with her friends until late. And the Imp isn't acting like she's up to cooking unless I push and push. I think I'll push tomorrow.

Good Intentions

I had the best intentions today. I am so far behind in my consultation work. Teachers have been diligent in sending in their work and I've be negligent in reading it all. Technically I don't have a time-limit to review the work, but I really don't want thousands of activities to read come August when the course finishes. And it's helpful if I tell them if they do something wrong before they move on to the next activity. So I got up today and came into my office (my boss' office, but she lets me have a desk when I come in) so I'd have no distractions. I actually worked well from 10:30 until now, and was definitely into the groove. Our Tech support guy just came to tell me the server will be down for a while because he has to install some updates. "How long?" I meekly ask. "Anywhere from 5 minutes to the rest of the day!" UGH. It's been 5 minutes. Not a good sign. I haven't been blogging much because I feel guilty if I do this fun stuff when my work awaits me. While the job is wonderful because I can set my own schedule it's also awful because I can set my own schedule. I tend to procrastinate. Hubby would be great at this kind of job. He'd set a schedule and he'd stick to it. We went to college together. He had his research papers done a week ahead (gave himself time encase an emergency came up). I rarely slept the night before something was due as I was up completing it! Somehow we live together happily. Actually we've rubbed off on each other. I'm better than I use to be at setting and keeping work schedules and he's a little less compulsive.

I've had a great week. Last Saturday, the Singer's 16th Birthday party was a huge success and I got loads of "words of affirmation" [From Gary Smalley's "5 Love Languages" a great book for anyone involved in any kind of relationship] which is my primary love language. The Singer's friends were appropriately impressed with all I'd done for the party. A few asked if they could hire me out to do their parties. I really love doing this kind of thing and to get affirmation out of it, too is wonderful for me. [I really am a sucker for praise. If you compliment me (sincerely), I'll do an awful lot for you.] All the girls were so nice. They can come to my house anytime. I'm pretty blessed to have good kids who for the most part have made good choices in the friend department.

This past weekend was the Imp's dance recital. She takes Hip Hop. Between getting dressed (make-up and hair and all) and having to be at the performance hall early, we spent about 15 hours on the recital this weekend. I'm glad it's over. But I really enjoy watching her dance. She has a natural ability in that department.

Stormy Boat-rides

Today's Gospel reading and homily really hit me. The reading was Mk 4:35-41
The priest talked about how we can take God for granted and push Him into a "sleeping" mode within our lives (we know he's there but we aren't interacting with Him in an intimate way). And then, suddenly (or so it seems) something "terrible" happens in our lives and we quickly exclaim, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" We act incredulous that we, as believers, as good Christians have problems. The priest reminded us that we are not in heaven, but still on earth and therefore will always have problems. He then said, Jesus told his disciples “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” The priest said that we are not promised a trouble-free life, but with more faith and less fear we are promised a life with God. That by putting aside our fear and trusting in God's good plan for us, we increase our faith and have a better life. I think of all the good people I know. And all of them have troubles. Some of gargantuan proportions. It was not a lack of faith that brought those problems, it is their depth of faith that allows them to deal with and live with the trials. Faith doens't make the trouble disappear, it allows us to believe that all is part of God's plan and that He knows better than we do.
How easy it is to say that. "God know better than I do" How hard it is to live that. As Americans, we pride ourselves on our independence and ingeniuity. It is so hard for me to walk the line between trusting God, but using all He has given me to handle a situation and using all He has given me to handle a situation and beginning to trust in myself instead of God.
The Gospel example of the stormy boat-ride brought back very personal memories of stormy boat-rides. When I was in high school, my father had a 27-foot sailboat. He loved sailing. I liked it and enjoyed spending time with him on the boat. Somehow it was decided that my dad, my older brother Kevin and I were going to sail the boat from Charleston, SC to Hilton Head, SC. We were going to be sailing "close to shore" but not in site of shore. It started out so well. What an adventure we were embarking upon. But during the night (maybe 11 PM or midnight) we were all still up and a huge storm came. There was lightning all around us. The front sail (jib) needed to come down, but in order to do so, someone had to climb to the front of the boat. My dad told us he was going and then tried to review what Kev and I would do if he fell overboard. (Remember it's night, it's storming, there is no light except from the lightning as no stars are visible and we can't see the shore) Kevin and I, both novice sailors at best, looked at each other and thought...if he goes over...we're all doomed because there is no way we'll ever find him and we definitely can't get this boat turned around in this storm). Somehow the sail got down and we all stayed aboard. I'm not sure I've ever been so scared in my life. After taking down the sail, my dad was soaked and tired. The storm was dying down and he said, "I've got to sleep. You have to take turns at the tiller. Just make sure you keep our heading. If you don't we could end up in the middle of the Atlantic" Such comforting words. Absolutely no pressure there. So Kevin and Dad went below to sleep and I was praying harder than I ever had. I was on my own. But not really...I knew, if I really needed help, I could wake my dad. He was there. And so was God. I don't ever want to experience that kind of trip again. But I'm glad I had the experience. It taught me alot, about myself, about my dad and about God. I think Kevin still has nightmares about that trip, too.

Father's Day

Father's Day. It never really gets the "hype" of Mother's Day. You don't hear people gasping in condemning misbelief if a grown child admits to not talking to their dad on Father's Day (the same admission on Mother's Day could get you permanently ostracized). Mother's Day commercials talk of "show her you love her by..." Father's Day commercials just show dad's using the product (implying dad's don't need to be reassured of their love).
All I know is that fathers and mothers are different. And I'm so happy I had both growing up and am eternally grateful my girls have both. I see them interact with him, doing things I'd never do with them, saying things they'd never say to me, and teasing each other in ways Mom (that's me) is compelled to say "Don't do that!" Studies show that girls with an active male parental figure in their lives a) perform better in school, b) are less likely to use drugs, and c) are less likely to be sexually active. Not a real surprise there. I know if I tell my girls they are pretty, they are pleased, but not necessarily convinced. If Hubby tells them they are pretty, they beem.
I know my own father influenced me. For as much as he is a product of his generation and therefore has deeply held views of men and women's roles, he told me and made me believe, I could do anything if I tried. He taught me to be independent, never wanting me to be "a poor helpless female". At the same time, I know he sized up Hubby in terms of whether he would financially provide for me and take care of me.
Hubby's dad influenced him, too. His dad was a Westinghouse employee for 40-some-odd years in a steel-mill town in western Pennsylvania. He did not graduate from high school, but he is one smart man. Today, he would easily get a scholarship for an engineering program. He taught, through example, that you put your family first and do whatever it takes to care for them. At one point, he held down 3 jobs to keep his family of 10 children provided for. He never complains. His motto, although never explicitly stated: Just Do It. I'm so lucky to have Hubby who learned so many unspoken lessons from his dad.
I am disheartened when I think of the number of children who are growing up without fathers. (That is not to say that children without fathers in their lives are doomed, but their way is so much easier with that positive influence in their lives.)
I'd like to salute all the fathers who do so much with much less fan-fare and thanks than is their due. So many are silent doers, like my father-in-law, not looking for kudos or recognition, but keep on keeping on becasue it is the right thing to do.
Happy Father's Day.

Birthday Memories

After walking down memory lane yesterday, I had to hunt up some pictures. Of course, I ended up spending way too much time looking at the pictures. But I really like remembering our family's past. My sister-in-law (once removed?)Cindy has adopted 38 children and memories for her family are so different. My children are so blessed to have an anchor of a secure past. I can't imagine not having that past. With the tension that comes with adolescence and the push-pull dance of a teenager daughter, our memories of fun, secure, happy times, helps us ride out the turbulence of today. I know it helps me and it is obvious it helps her. How much harder must the parent-child relationship be during this time if that trust of the last 14 years weren't there? Looking at pictures of a 3-year old cuddling in my arms or the 4-year old "reading" to her dolls conjures up the warm fuzzies and has me realizing all her wonderful qualities. It is similar in all relationships, the more positive memories between the people, the easier to weather the storms (the easier to trust the other will still be there after the storm). Many relationship gurus call these happy times as times of "filling the love tank" and the difficult times depletes it. How I admire Cindy for being able to keep filling up the tanks of her children (while having to patch holes in their tanks...they don't all know how to accept the love).


The Singer's 1st Birthday
The Singer and her cousin at her 2nd Birthday

The Singer and her cousin at her 4th Birthday










The Singer on her 5th Birthday...Princess Party


















The Singer in Virginia for her cousin's 7th Birthday.









The Singer at her Barbie Birthday (6th).

Birthdays

Alberto has come and gone leaving 3.5 inches of much needed rain. Retention ponds actually have some water in them, and lawns are looking greener. We hope the rain continues. It looks like Raliegh, NC got a bigger wallop of rain than we did. The sun has returned and hopefully daily afternoon thunderstorms will begin agian.

As The Singer approaches 16, I'm trying to remain sane. Early symptoms of menopause mixed with raging hormones of teenage girls results in great frustrations. To maintain a positive connection, I'm working on her 16th birthday party. As per her request, she had no real imput into it. She wanted to be surprised. She gave me the invite list and I am doing the rest. The party is this Saturday. I've written about some of this before but I'm guess, I'm a little excited. I like doing this kind of thing. Generally, it is on a much smaller scale and less "store bought" paraphenalia, but 16 is a big celebration. [Past birthdays have included the sleuth theme with homemade code books and clues leading to a treasure, roller skating theme, with roller skate cake, Little Mermaid theme with sand and sea shell art, almost-sleepover party for younger ones where they put on their PJs, get out their sleeping bags and do all the giggling and hair combing and stuff but parents take them home at 10PM.] I told her a little about the party early this week because it was too hard to keep it all secret since it's summer and she's home so much. 14 girls are meeting at the ice skating rink, for two hours of fun in a nice cold place during the summer in Florida. Then it's back to our house for some fun. We have Tinkerbell decorations, streamers, plates, a tiara for the birthday girl, and a Tinkerbell pinata. As part of the refreshments we have homemade chocolate cups (made with candy-making chocolate and they're the size of mini-muffins) filled with chocolate mousse topped with purple and pink M&Ms. (That's what we did today.) The cake is will be a pink castle cake (pictures in later posts) with Tinkerbell "flying" in front. The prizes are fairy necklaces complete with tiny vials of fairy dust and Tinkerbell playing cards. (Much of this is acquired at Claires, the rest at Wal-Mart). The craft of the evening is "stained glass" Tinkerbells (the plastics outlines are at Walmart, you pick the colors and paint with the 'stained glass' paint). This is definitely a "farewell to childhood" more than a "hello adulthood" party but it is very much her. It's not what many of her friends would have picked for themselves but they will definitely 'get into the spirit' and help her celebrate. I really like most of her friends.
Before all these festivities, I am taking her and her best friend to Merle Norman for a make-over and tomorrow we're putting highlights into her hair (the first time I've agreed to any kind of hair dying...trying to pick my battles).

Tomorrow will include baking cakes and house-cleaning. Then I have to decide what I will draw on her Birthday Tablecloth. Before the Singer's first birthday, I read about this in Parents Magazine. You take a white linen tablecloth and write the child's name on it with fabric paint. Then each year people who help your child celebrate their birthday sign the cloth with fabric paint. I try to draw a little symbol/picture to represent each year and have people sign under the picture. She has 15 years signed. Each year when we get the tablecloth out there is great fun remembering past birthdays...like the year cousin Lauren's hands and face turned blue from the icing from the Cookie Monster cake (Megan was 2 so Lauren was just over 3) or the year she celebrated her birthday at Beathany Beach with grandparents and cousins (Lauren was in this memory, too). Then we remember the Singer and I travelling to Lauren's 7th birthday from Florida to Virginia and arriving in a snowstorm. It's great to walk down memory lane. [Helps overcome all the hormone imbalances].

Purifying Silver

I received this from a friend and it spoke to me.

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. ! ;

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Tropical Storms

Alberto, like most hurricanes and tropical storms, has not 'behaved' as predicted. Around noon today Alberto went from 50 to 70 mph winds. Not expected. Hurricane warnings quickly went up along the gulf coast of Florida. This morning, Tampa was in the middle of the projected path. Tonight Tampa looks like it will miss most of the severe weather as Alberto is heading toward "Big Bend" and north of Tampa. Summer schools/programs are cancelled for tomorrow all around the Tampa area. Shelters are opening. Some counties north of Tampa are evacuating mobile homes and evacuation A areas. The moral of this story. You must keep watching a storm. All the predictions from 5 pm tonight could easily change by tomorrow morning. Labor Day weekend in 1986, Hurricane Elana did not hit Tampa, instead she did a nice loopy-loop in the Gulf that kept her off the coast for 3 days. She never got closer to Tampa than 150 miles, but the damage due to flooding was incredible. The forecasters did not predict that. In 2004, Charley was suppose to come up Tampa Bay. We evacuated. Charley came ashore south, at Punta Gorda, and Tampa barely got rain showers. This is the frustrating part of a hurricane. You really can't plan. You sit waiting for the next update. Then you sit and wait for the next one.
We received about 3 inches of rain so far. It was a great rainy day. The rain was a steady rain, never torrential and our pool filled up nicely. If it rains too much tomorrow, I'll have to drain the pool. I always hate doing that because I hate putting water in the pool.

As I moderate my online class for teachers, I am amazed at the spectrum represented by teachers. Teachers really are a microcosm of society. Democrats, Republicans, kind-hearted, bigoted, intelligent, ignorant, hard-working, looking for the easy way out. And just like in a classroom, the 5-10% that try your patience, easily "drown out" the great work of the other 90%. Every time I read a less-than-stellar assignment, I have to remind myself that not all teachers are this way. It gets difficult. My biggest problem....People not reading directions. Moderating online courses is a great way for me to contribute to my family's income and still be available for my girls. I can do my work anytime I have my computer and have internet access. I like to do it in the evening, while I watch TV. The best part of these courses, is that I have no lesson planning. The course is written and I simply evaluated work as pass/fail and answer questions of the participants. Overall, I really like it.

Saturday is the Singer's 16th birthday party. I'm busy getting ready for that. The Singer is going to enjoy her childhood. The theme is Tinkerbell. I'm making a castle cake (with a small Tinkerbell "flying" in front of it....just like on Disney). I'm also making small chocolate cups filled with chocolate mousse. I even got a Tinkerbell pinata. She's going to have a blast. Before the party, I'm taking her up to Merle Norman for a "make-over" so she'll be beautiful for her party. It should be great. I can't wait. This is why I am a M-A-H, so I can do all this stuff. She's so excited :-)

The Imp just came in to tell me her plan to swim during the Tropical Storm tomorrow. She couldn't believe it when I told her she couldn't. I've ruined all her plans and fun for tomorrow. A second day stuck inside. The Singer doesn't mind. The Imp will drive me crazy.

Alberto

Hurricane season began 9 days ago. Here we are dealing with Tropical Storm Alberto already. Actually, most people here in Florida are thrilled (unless their street tends to flood with heavy rains). We are in desparate need of rain. Wildfires are a constant threat, and a couple of inches of rain would sure help. My lawn and water bill would appreciate the rain, as well. Here's hoping that this early storm is not indicative of the Hurricane season this year. I was amazed when it was reported that 68% of GULF COAST residents did NOT have hurricane plans! How can one have lived in the United States for the last 2 years and not realize the importance of being prepared; not realize that the government cannot take care of millions of people simultaneously, especially when the infastructure of a community has been destroyed? Anyone who has lived in Florida has heard over and over..."make sure to have 3 days supply of water for each person in the home and 2 weeks worth of medicine." That's because the government knows it can't help everyone at once. It's not that hard for the average person. 68% haven't prepared at all. It is absolutely mind-boggling. It is imperative that those who can take care of themselves do, so the government can put their resources to those who truly need help. If you live where a hurricane can affect you...please get ready today.

Summer is underway. I am exhausted. Hubby tells me, this is your busy time of year. Stop thinking of summer as vacation. As a M-A-H you're 24/7 in the summer. The school year gives moms-at-home a break. Somehow, I always think I'll have all this time to clean out closets and paint bathrooms, etc. And somehow, I spend my time as a chauffer. I don't really mind, it just takes me a few days to re-adjust my expectations for the summer.

The Singer is taking Driver's Ed, so we get up each morning (M-Th) to go to school. She is so convinced her instructors know nothing and that she knows everything. I just keep reminding myself that my teen is crazy, and try to remember what I learned by reading


It is really quite an interesting book and helps me as a parent not to get quite so frustrated with my teen (or maybe helps me calm down and re-evaluate after I get so frustrated).