Intentional Motherhood

My daughter, the Singer, recommended the book, Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell.  Hubby has been reading it and I will read it after he's finished.  But already the book has impacted my life by giving me new vocabulary.  I was a stay-at-home-mom for many years, yet that title never sat well with me.  Left-over 1980's feminism?  Possibly.  More likely, the title seems so wimpy.  I didn't just stay at home.  I was being a mother.  And I never liked the title of full-time mother, as if you could be a mother only part-time, even if you do go to the office every day.  But I never came up with a good substitute title.  Now I have, thanks to Sherry Weddell.  I was/am an Intentional Mother.  After listening to Dave Ramsey talk about purposeful spending another acceptable title would be a Purposeful Mother.  I approach my motherhood purposefully and with the intent of being a good mother.  It is not something I simply am through biology, but something I am striving to become more each day.  

Funny, that I am thinking of my days with my girls at home as they are both out of the house now, but with the Singer off to the convent in August, my role as her mother will greatly change.  I have never been one to talk to my girls every day.  Touching base a few times a week works for us.  But it is still hard to grasp that come August 15th, I won't talk to her again until visiting days in December.  We can write to each other through snail-mail (no smart-phones, email or Facebook).  It sorta feels like my job is officially over.  Definitely leaves an uneasiness in my heart (for how I will fare come August, not her).
 In case you were wondering, I totally support her in this decision for a number of reasons.  The top reason being I have watched her discern this decision over the last 3 years. She is not entering because of some vague, romantic notion of what sisterhood will be, nor is she entering to escape some harsh reality of the secular world.  Secondly, my prayer for my children has always been that they grow up to know, love and serve God.  I think this is one way that prayer is answered.  Additionally, if she discovers that this is not the life for her, final vows are not taken for 7 years. And much of her time the first 2 years will be active discernment of God's mission for her.  But, I will miss her.

De-Clutter

Through Facebook, I came up this site 40 Bags in 40 Days.  So this is part of my Lenten Journey this year.  

With both girls essentially gone, Hubby working from home 90% of the time, and my home-based business, we've begun to reassign floor space for new purposes.  

The Imp has lost her room.  She took her bed and desk to her apartment in Jacksonville, so we took down all the things from her walls...

painted her room and moved Hubby's desk and the home computer into her room which is now the home office.  

The Singer's bedroom has become the craft storage room.  All my scrapbook stuff (which is quite a bit), all my crochet and knitting yarn, patterns and needles/hooks, and all my miscellaneous craft supplies (paint, calligraphy ink, beads, foam boards, straw, google eyes, etc) is in there on bookcases and in the closet.  We'd like to turn that into a guest room after she enters the convent in August.

Prior to moving his desk into the Imp's old room, our formal dining room was our home office.  I don't want to move anything from the old office into the new office until it has been gone through.  No junk allowed in the new office.  And our formal dining room has now become the sewing room.  I'd like to get a good storage/working system going in there.  So I'm going to participate in this 40 Bags in 40 Days to complete the start of our home transformation.  I've purged much already in the last few years, and I'm sure I'll have more to get rid of, but my priority it to ORGANIZE.  I'm starting small, however.  Today's project:  the pen/scissor/tape drawer in the kitchen. 

The Business of Starting A Business

For the past 6 weeks, I've been working on establishing my own small, home-based business.  I want to make teddy bears.  It's pretty simple.  I will never make a lot of money.  There is a set amount of bears I can make in a week.  I will not hire others to sew for this business.  It's just me and that's it.

I am a rule follower (for the most part).  I try to do the right thing.  Following the rules and regulations for small businesses is the right thing, even if the rules and regulations are inane.  I've spent more time in the last 6 weeks filling out forms, figuring out what forms I need to fill out, and trying to get affordable product liability insurance than I've spent sewing bears.  Grrrrr.  I've learned much.  More than I want to know, really.  I have searched for but not found a Step-by-step guide to starting a business.  For example: which do you do first, open a checking account or register your business with the state? (You need to register first so you can then get an EIN number from the IRS that you need for your checking account, but that means you have to use your own money,  not a business account, to pay the registration fees. But all the advice says, from the beginning keep separate accounts and don't use your personal account for business expenses.  It's to protect you in case of a suit, that your business and personal accounts are clearly distinct.  I know this now but as I was going through the process it was quite frustrating.)  Is registering with the state the same as completing a "Doing Business As" (DBA) declaration?  If you sell online, what taxes are you responsible for?  None of these questions have a direct answer.  And how exactly do you classify sewing teddy bears as keepsakes?  Are you making toys?  And while I'll probably make less than 200 bears this first year, I have to have product liability insurance because we live in such a litigious society.  Those darn button eyes are such a choking hazard.  You'd think putting a warning on them would be enough, but unfortunately probably not.  That's really discouraging, as I see my business as a ministry.  Yes, I make a profit.  But less than you think (especially once you calculate in the fees associated with every registration).  But the money alone would never motivate me to work as hard as I have.  I would have given up weeks ago if I didn't believe I was providing a true service to people.

One thing that keeps me motivated is the positive response I get from just about everyone I tell about my business.  I'm working on completing an order that will bring me to a total of 10 bears sold.  (That's in addition to the original 8 bears I made for my family).  I have 4 others who've expressed a real interest.  And I haven't really done any advertising, per se.  I do have my website up with some pics at  Blessing-Bears.  I've attended free seminars on starting a business (less helpful that I'd hoped) that provided some basic information.  I've created my logo:

and my business cards.  So overall I'm pretty pleased with where I am.  Especially since I've kept up my volunteer hours at my church.

Another thing that keeps me motivated is the bears themselves.  They are all so darn cute.  And each has a definite personality.  I use the same pattern, but somehow (do to the differences in material) some end up larger than others.  Some bears just demand to have more stuffing.  Can't explain it.  I just know.  It's hard to package up the bears and mail them back after spending time with them.  But I do smile thinking of the comfort/joy they will bring to others.