2 Years Already

It's hard to believe that it has already been 2 years since my little brother, John died from ALS. He was so full of life, even when his body was slowly becoming useless, that it doesn't seem possible that he isn't still here. I miss him. I love living in Florida, but wish we were closer to John's widow. How our brains process information is interesting. How memories of certain events can be so vivid, that they seem as if they happened just yesterday, even though years of other memories actually exist.
I wore my "Piece by Piece" ALS awareness T-shirt


yesterday when volunteering and one of the other volunteers said her ex-husband's aunt was diagnosed 2 years ago. It amazes me for a disease that isn't "common" how many people know someone (or know someone who knows someone) who has/had it.

The beans and green peppers in my garden are still doing well, but I'm fighting some pests and fungus on my cucumbers, tomatoes and cantaloupe. I planted my cantaloupe too close together and am afraid that is a contributing factor. I'm enjoying the products of my gardening but have to fight feeling inadequate when I lose produce to disease or pests. The Singer reminded me of a saying I gave to her on a poster, "Striving for Excellence Motivates You; Striving for Perfection is just demoralizing." Guess I'm still striving for perfection. Ugh.

I'm reading Gary Smalley's Making Love Last Forever. Quite interesting. Most marriage books contain great information about improving any relationship. This is no different. Smalley talks in great detail how anger occurs when your expectations and reality are vastly different. You think (expect/predict) your hubby is going to be thrilled with dinner and thank you. Reality: he shovels the food down without comment and possibly even says something about are fixing anything better tomorrow. You become hurt and angry. Often the anger is manifested from exactly such mundane encounters. So sometimes your expectations need to change. But other times a true injustice takes place and your anger is an indication that change is needed in the reality. I expect to be safe from physical abuse. If I'm abused, my expectations don't need to change, my situation does. Lots of other pearls in his book. It's a good read.