Stealing

The story about a stolen bike at USF illustrates so much of what is out of whack in our society. First a college dean (yes that is a position of authority making over $300,000 a year) helps a day laborer take a bike the dean knew did not belong to either of them. His defense, "I failed to consider that the bicycle belonged to someone on our Alzheimer's team." So if it belonged to someone else, it would be okay to take it? His other defense, given in an interview Friday, Rao said he never intended to keep the bike.
"How stupid would that be? I knew the cameras were there."
Well, let's see, how stupid is it to take something that doesn't belong to you without asking? So I guess, I can take Rao's car, as long as I return it...sometime. I'm flabbergasted that he is so flippant about what he did.
On the other hand, that the university then demanded his resignation seems a little overboard. It was wrong, stupid, not well-thought out, but is it really an offense requiring resignation? This all-or-nothing mentality is ludicrous. I'm not sure what the university should do as to Rao...making him buy some bikes for free use on campus may be a good idea. But resignation? Seems like everybody is "failing to consider.." a lot of things.

Makes me think of the book, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." by Robert Fulghum. Some of those things include... play fair, don't hit people, clean up your own mess, DON'T TAKE THINGS THAT AREN'T YOURS, say you're sorry when you hurt somebody, warm cookies and cold mike are good for you. Yep, pretty simple and unfortunately too rarely followed.
Bottom line. Stealing is wrong.

Valentine's Day...UGH

Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. In high school, I had few boyfriends...and never it seemed at Valentine's Day. So I was clearly on the outs. Even in elementary school when Valentine's were exchanged with the whole class, I was often still the "new girl" and even if I received cards, I knew they were given out of obligation, not any true affection for me. Now, as a married woman of 24 years, you'd think my opinion of Valentine's Day may have changed. Nope. More often than not, Hubby and I are not in a period of high romance as Valentine's Day approaches. And I hate being told how to feel or act. If we're not operating at the 'newlywed bliss' level in our relationship...any and everything done for me is suspect. Does he really want me to have flowers or is he doing it out of fear of not doing it? (I rarely get flowers, BTW) And how genuine is my love for him, if his failure to 'produce' appropriate gifts causes strife? Look, I love my husband, more than I ever thought I could love another person. He is the single best person to ever come into my life and I am truly blessed to have him decide to marry me. (How's that for over-the-top sugary-sweet sentiment? It is true, though.) But come on, I better show him how much I love him more often than Christmas, his birthday and Valentine's Day. And I'd much rather have him do the dishes, make me coffee, or listen to me ramble at the end of the day than have him give me a diamond we can't afford. Fortunately, because Hubby is so incredibly wonderful, he feels the same. All pressure is off of us on Valentine's Day. We do exchange cards and usually some gift, but refuse to fall into the trap of feeling obligated to plan elaborate nights out, or pay twice the normal rate for a dozen roses. Trust me. Flowers sent on a day that is not "special" will gain more bang for the buck. A get-away planned for March will actually be more romantic than one planned for Valentine's Day. Love is not something to acknowledge periodically, it is something that is lived each day and demonstrated in the little every day stuff. While I have friends who say they agree with me philosophically, they seem to judge their spouses/significant others by how well they 'celebrate' this day. Forget Valentine's Day...just focus on the love.

Milkshake Moments

I'm reading a book "The Milkshake Moment: by Steven S. Little. It's about management, but as often, I'm not looking at the information from the view it was written. I think we as individuals have Milkshake Moments and limit our own responses as much as corporate rules limit us in the workplace. The author uses the example of trying to order a milkshake from room service. The worker states, "We don't have milkshakes." The author then asks for a bowl of ice cream and a tall glass 1/2 filled with milk and a long spoon and makes his own milkshake. The point of the story from the author's view, is the response of the worker in room service. I like to focus on the author's response. This is what I want to teach my children... how to solve their own problems. Many people would have ranted and raved to the worker (who, was after all, only following procedure) and then gotten off the phone, frustrated and still without the coveted milkshake. I want to teach my children not to create their own processes that bind them but to use simple common sense in discovering actions to solve problems. Let's face it, a milkshake that is stirred, not blended (shaken) is NOT the same as a well made milkshake, but given the alternatives...slightly sub-perfect milkshake or no milkshake...well...make do. I'm not trying to advocate accepting every system as it is and not trying to change it, i.e. tell the hotel manager of the event (the following day) and suggest staff training in problem solving. But I'm advocating that the easier person to change is yourself. I often hear, it's not life's circumstances that determine your happiness/contentment but your response to them. I often heard that saying in thought it was encouraging passive acceptance of your situation. But I now know I believe that it's not accepting everything, but working at changing those aspects of your life you do have control over and then accepting that which you don't. I'm only half way through the book and as I enter the endeavor of leading a marriage ministry in my church, I've taken some management ideas out of it. But to me, the truth being taught is more universal than management techniques and applies to life...How many milkshake moments have you had today? Did you find a way to make your milkshake or shrug and say, "we don't have milkshakes."?