Living with Loss

I've had two weeks of thinking about death and dying. The week of the 17th had us attending a rosary prayer service and the funeral of the Imp's friend's (JuJu's) mom. She was only 43. The rosary prayer service was designed by the Salesian Sisters who run the school the Imp and her friend attend. The whole experience was "fitting." The sisters really did a wonderful job of recognizing the grief at losing a loved one, while remembering that our Christian faith gives us hope, even in death. The school is right next to the convent where the sisters live. Inside the convent is a small chapel. The students have always had access to the chapel during their lunch/recess time. A special candle was lit in the chapel for JuJu's mom. JuJu can go in there anytime to find quiet and feel close to God and her mom. The Imp says, the two of them go into the chapel everyday after lunch, on their way to recess. She says they usually stay just a few minutes, but it makes them both feel better. This is why I am so pleased with the school. Academically it is above adequate but below exemplary. But that's okay by me, if the Imp is having her soul nourished. This is real life stuff and the staff at the school is teaching the students how to deal with real life in a Christian way. The whole way JuJu's mom's illness/death has been dealt with speaks of grace and class.

The funeral of JuJu's mom was nice, too. The priest was a little long-winded, just repeating himself, but not everyone can have someone like Father Ashmann give the homily at their funeral. [Fr. Ashmann gave the homily at John's funeral and was extremely eloquent and full of the Spirit.] The really nice thing was seeing 20 of JuJu's classmates there. Most of them sat together in two pews of the church near JuJu. It warmed my heart to see them pulling together for her.

Last Monday was John's birthday. He would have been 42. I still don't always realize he's gone. He was so full of life...always, that it is almost incomprehensible that he isn't still living. I then found out that my nephew, in Iraq, was involved in a "skirmish" and thankfully only suffered a concussion and temporary hearing loss. We all feel like John was on guardian angel duty watching over Byron.

Today is Ellen's birthday. It is hard to grasp that she has been gone over 11 years. It's hard for me to comprehend that the Imp has no memories of her. Ellen loved holding the Imp when she was a baby, and always seemed to enjoy the Singer, too. The Singer has only the vaguest of memories of her. How sad that they never really got to know her. On these days, I am amazed at the ability of my brother, Kevin, and my sister-in-law, Gwyn, to continue on. Ellen exhibited great grace and faith as she lived and died with breast cancer and John exhibited great grace and faith as he lived and died with ALS. But, Kevin and Gwyn have exhibited incredible grace and faith in living each day since their losses.