John and my brother Chris (1969 or 1970)
John and The Imp 1998
John and Hubby last summer
Funny how my last entry was about attitude. That your contentment/happiness in life is determined by the choices you make rather than by the circumstances of your life.
I've been given the opportunity to live out my words. My brother, John, died on Saturday. Exhausted from dealing with ALS, he simply didn't have the energy left to wake up after a nap. ALS (aka Lou Gehrig's Disease) causes the body to become paralyzed bit by bit. Eventually the diaphragm is paralyzed and breathing ceases. So here I am faced with heart-breaking circumstances...the death of my brother. The tears have readily fallen. The anguish of knowing I will never see that twinkle in his eye as a sly smile crosses his face when he's pulling someone's leg is so strong at times it's like a physical punch in the stomach. My heart breaks thinking of his wonderfully amazing wife and her grief. Yet behind all the pain and immediate grief, I'm okay. I believe John is with God. I believe that he continues to live both in heaven and in our memories. It is my loss, not worry or concern about John, that has me reaching for yet another tissue as the tears seem to simply seap out of my eyes.
Nike may have coined the phrase "Just Do It," but John lived it each and every day of his life. How can I not miss that? I am saddened that my daughters won't have him to talk to as they continue to grow, because he offered a special insight into life, so different from my own, yet enriching to them. I am saddened that our nephews, Christopher and Andrew (4 yrs and 19 months) won't remember him. Christopher and John were buds.
My sadness is for the world's loss. A great and beautiful soul is no longer walking on the earth. So my attitude must be to work even harder at making the world a good place to help conteract the loss by John's death.
John's obituary
2 comments:
As the great Obi-Wan Kenobi said, I sense a deep disturbance in the force.
Ms. Adellee,
One of my fondest memories is attending a Braves baseball game with the Ellis family (Kevin was sweet enough to invite my Mom and a couple of her kids). We had so much fun and I remember what an impact John made on me. His drive to live out life to it's fullest has stayed with me through the years, and Mom has kept me up to date on his condition throughout the years. I was saddened to learn of his passing, although I am in agreement that he is with our Holy Father,enjoying Heaven and loving it! My prayers are with you and your family through this loss.
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