Are You Getting Your Money's Worth?

People frequently ask me if the school I send the Imp to is a "good school." It's a Catholic school and I think often they want to know if I'm "getting my money's worth." I picked this school for it's character, not for its academics. The academics are adequate and in many areas very good. With the huge public school system here, the academic opportunities would be much greater for the Imp at a public school. She would definitely be in the Gifted Program. But acquiring the most knowledge in the shortest amount of time is not the goal I have for my daughters. Every week the principal (a Salesian sister) sends home a letter to the parents. It is more than a bulletin of what is happening. It often is sharing of values and philosophies. The following came home yesterday. This is why I send the Imp to this school.

It is with heavy hearts that we return from Easter vacation following the tragedy at VA Tech University. It is almost 8 years to the day that 13 students were killed at Columbine H.S. Kids killing kids...how does this happen and how can it be prevented? What makes kids "implode"? Is it evil or mental illness?

There are so many questions that we can ask ourselves after the fact, but maybe this tragedy offers us the opportunity as parents, teachers, administrators, counselors, etc. to reflect on our responsibility to the children God has entrusted to our care. We carry an awesome responsibility.

Do we give kids time? Do we offer them faith and reasons to hope? Do we give them experiences of true love where they feel safe and nurtured? Do we pray with our children and for our children? Do we spend TIME with them, allowing THEM to talk and share their feelings? [emphasis mine]
Do we allow them to feel positive about themselves and look positively at
others? Do we teach them to respect others and empathize with others who
have less or feel different? Do we hold them accountable for their actions
and discipline them when necessary? Do we set boundaries and routines for
them so they know what to expect? Do we teach them inclusion and not exclusion?
Do we teach them how to deal with their feelings and emotions? Do we give them
good example and positive role models? Are our kids peaceful and happy with the
simple things in life?

Or do we place unrealistic expectations and pressures on our children? Do we replace our time and affection with money and things? Do we spend more time comparing our kids against other kids rather than appreciate them for who they are and help them be the best they can be? Do we avoid facing the problems our kids may have and finding them the help they may need? Do we know where our kids are when they're not with us? Do we know where their friends are and where they "hang out"? Do we know what they are reading, writing, e-mailing, researching on the Internet, looking at on TV and movies, listening to on ipods? Do we ever notice if our kids are lonely, troubled, quiet, with few friends, depressed with life itself?

St. John Bosco (the founder of the Salesians) was a man ahead of his times and understood kids. His educational system of reason, religion and loving kindness lived in a family spirit tells exactly what our kids and all kids need, especially in this day and age...truth, honesty, faith, love, friendship, and most importantly FAMILY! [emphasis mine]

With every tragedy there will be unanswered questions and regrets. Maybe it is time to simply stop and listen to what our kids are telling us....more often by their actions than their words...and LOVE THEM.

These are not just words to Sr. Kim. She believes them and lives them and is such a great leader. Yea, I think I get my money's worth.

Today is the anniversary of my sister-in-law's (Ellen) death. It still amazes me the impact she has had on my life. I knew her for a very few years really. But I still miss her and think of her and am thankful I did know her and am thankful for the example of "good living" she was.
Without faith, I'm not sure how I would handle death. We need to teach our kids our faith, and do all we can to connect them with God. Without God, life is depressing and hopeless and meaningless. Without God Ellen's death and the death of the 32 at VA Tech have little meaning. With God, goodness can come from this pain. And there is great hope because we already know the end of the story... Good wins! Evil loses!