Ain't Family Great

The Singer called last night around 8, stressed to the max.  "Mom, I just can't spend another night in the dorm with all those people around all the time."  Both my daughters desperately need alone time.  The Singer's need is striking as she needs the boisterous social time just as much (The Imp is much less the social butterfly so her need isn't surprising.  The Singer is such a social butterfly, cheerleader type, that people don't realize how precious and necessary that time is to her.)
Her desperation carrying through the phone in her tone, "The library is closing, there's nowhere to go, except a cafe in Charlotte but it's suppose to snow tonight and I don't want to get caught in the snow."  (Ah, a new appreciation of the trials of driving in the snow after her trip back to NC in January...now the forecast was for ONE inch of snow...I wasn't too worried, but just listened.)
First I stayed calm.  Asked her to check out the hour by hour forecast (when exactly was it suppose to start snowing, etc.).  Then I told her to call her uncle (my brother) who is but 20 minutes from her, and ask to crash in their spare bedroom.  I was praying this wouldn't be an imposition on them.  Knowing the generosity of both my brother and his wife, I was sure they'd open their home, and knowing the Singer truly wanted to be alone, I figured her presence wouldn't be disruptive.
Family came through.  Within minutes the Singer was heading off to their house.  I texted her this morning asking how it went.  "Blissful...I got 8 beautiful hours of sleep and got to have a pop tart with Andrew this morning" (Andrew is 5 and probably the cutest kid alive).  I'm so glad she got the sleep.  Still recovering from the flu last week, I've been trying to push the sleep thing on her without being to 'momish'. 

What a great relief to know she has family that will take her in...not just in an emergency..but just to be nice. 
Family is GREAT.

They Don't Have Boots

Yesterday at Mass, our deacon spoke about giving to our diocese's fundraiser.  He spoke about volunteering at Pinellas Hope, a local homeless help center (temporary housing and hot meals provided).  He shared how before going to Pinellas Hope and knowing these people, he, like many middle class Americans, wondered why "those" people didn't just pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  After spending time at Pinellas Hope, he discovered the answer...they don't have any boots!  That story will stay with me for a long time.  There are people who are homeless due to their poor choices (i.e. it's their own fault).  There are also people who are homeless because they never had an adequate support system.  When you are middle class, you usually not only have some sort of savings for emergencies, you also have people who will help you out in emergencies, additionally you have been exposed to the idea (and believe it) that hard work pays off.  It is so hard for middle class America to grasp the reality that the culture of the poor is often dramatically different than our own.  Our Youth Group volunteers at Pinellas Hope a few times each year.  They also spend a night retreat there...sleeping outside, eating the meal provided at Pinellas Hope, etc.  The response is almost always the same..."I had no idea there were 'normal' people who were homeless."  or "I'm never drinking...this guy I met used to work at a nice white collar job and he lost it, his family and his home due to drinking."  I think this kind of experience should be required for all teenagers (and it would probably benefit all law-makers as well).
People who know me, know I am not an advocate for unlimited social programs.  In fact, I think privately run 'help' groups are preferable to government programs all the time.  But, at the same time, I believe too many people who live comfortably frequently misjudge those who have less.
It's not that they don't want to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, they just don't have any boots.

The Triple Bind

I'm ready this book  Triple Bind.
I'm finding it really interesting, and spending time contemplating how much pressure I put on my own two girls.  A friend of mine has a daughter who is a freshman in high school and is having a very difficult time of it.  The girl is super smart, super sweet, very pretty (and dances-ballet- and plays the piano and is a runner).  The girl is feeling inadequate and overwhelmed in high school.  I recommended this book to her.  Just reading the book jacket had my friend very interested.  I found Hinshaw's reference to "America's Next Top Model" especially enlightening.  Both my girls absolutely LOVE that show.  I never could understand why.  Hinshaw explains how the Triple Bind is openly played out on the show and that the appeal is that the girls are succeeding!  

Happy to Live in Florida

Seeing the news the last few days and looking at the weather map, sure makes me happy I live in Florida.  The front line, separating the cold from the nice whether sits just north of me.  It'll come close to 70 today here.  Sure beats the -32 in the northern mid-west.  It is cloudy, and I'm definitely a sunshine-kind of person, but after spending some time outside this morning playing in my gardens, I won't complain.  I have lots of seeds growing up in my planters on my porch...can't transplant them to the garden until I'm really sure it won't freeze again.  My broccoli and pepper plants in my garden are looking good.  After a frigid (for Florida) December and cold January, I would be just fine without a February freeze, but won't tempt fate by planting my little lettuce, cucumber, and onions too soon.
It's February, so we are now surrounded by all the Valentine's Day hoopla.  I've just never liked the pressure of Valentine's Day.  Hubby and I are going out to a great restaurant, Rigatoni's, a week AFTER Valentine's Day.  Fewer crowds, lower prices, more fun.  In fact, Hubby proposed (well...his proposal was less than traditional, but we call it his proposal) to me on Feb 15 of 1984.  He wanted to do it on Valentine's Day, but he said he knew I'd probably say 'no' on principal since I think the hoopla around the day is so overdone.
We celebrated 26 years December 29.  We had a great time.  Nothing like spending your life with your best friend.  We went on Hotwire and got a great hotel room downtown on the river for a steal.  So we went downtown that afternoon with the idea of going skating at the constructed outdoor skating rink they put up at a park on the river (in a tent-like structure to help prevent thawing in the 60 degree weather).  I'd been reading about the rink in the paper and wanted to go ice skating outside (we've a great indoor rink just a few miles from my house).  Well, the rink was smaller than a postage stamp, way too crowded and all torn up from all the skates.  So we passed by the rink and kept walking to the downtown library.  To many, a couple of hours at a library on one's anniversary might not sound wonderful, but to me it was pure heaven.  The only drawback was the heat was on too high.  The downtown library is wonderful...multi-leveled and two sections (east and west) separated by a clear 'tunnel'.  After browsing (and both picking up a few books) we sat and read magazines.  Hubby said we'd have to plan to do this regularly in retirement.  Don't subscribed to any magazines, just plan to spend an afternoon every week at the library, getting our info there.  Now...I'm one lucky girl to have a Hubby like that!
The Singer is back at college, burning the candle at both ends.  She went off to the March for Life in DC the weekend of the 20th.  The next weekend she was off to the FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) convention in Tennessee.  She got back late Sunday night and by Tuesday was running a fever.  After running a temp of 103, she headed off to the college clinic and was diagnosed with the flu.  She's wishing she were home for Mom's TLC.  Fortunately she has lots of friends.  They did a drug store run and got Tylenol, orange juice, chicken soup, tissues, and some movies.  So she's in good hands.
The Imp starts school late today due to Junior Class retreat day.  So I gotta go take her in.