Remembering John

John Patrick Ellis











John, we miss you. Happy Birthday.

Home for the Weekend

Friday was a great day. The Imp called at 2:50 to say swim was cancelled...I told her, "Run, catch the bus." thus saving me from driving the 35 minutes to the school and the additional 45 minutes home (Fridays' traffic gets worse by the minute after 3:00pm). The Imp was NOT happy about riding the bus...her first time. Fortunately she found a friend. She was home a little before 4:00pm, hot and tired. "There's no air condition on the bus!" Yep, knew that. She had worn a top with straps instead of sleeves to school, thus had a jacket on over it (to stay in dress code). Not a problem usually as the classrooms tend to be chilly. But she was afraid to take the jacket off on the bus for fear of being nabbed. I don't think she would have been, but I didn't tell her that. If she chooses to wear that top, she'll have to be willing to deal with the consequences. I was glad to know she wasn't willing to break the rules.

Friday evening, Hubby went and picked up the Singer from USF and pizza on the way home. We threw in a rental (Eragon) and had pizza, salad and popcorn in front of the TV. The Imp slept in the Singer's room with her and they stayed up late catching up on sister stuff.

It was just nice to have the Singer around. The Imp was ecstatic and her mood was rather positive all weekend.

Saturday the Singer ran errands for us (yea!), taking the Imp with her. The errands should have taken about 1 1/2 hours. It took them 2 1/2 hours. I didn't mind. Saturday night we ate on the back porch (Hubby had cleaned the entire deck area during the day) in very pleasant weather. In honor of the Singer we had fresh green beans, and for the Imp we had some delectable potatoes courtesy of Sarah's recipe. The Singer had made lemon bars during the day for desert.

Going to church together on Sunday was comforting and then we went to see "Ghost Town." It was better than I had anticipated. We all laughed out loud.

Of course the washing machine ran all weekend (it wouldn't have to run so long if it weren't on its last leg...it occasionally doesn't drain after the rinse cycle and it fills at an exceptionally slow pace. In fact, we often use buckets to pour water in to expedite the process.

I took the Singer back to USF this morning. She doesn't have class until 11:45 on Mondays!

The weekend was a great rejuvenating time for all of us.

Dropping Off Your Kids to the Government

In August I saw an article about the "Safe-Haven" law passed in Nebraska. It is a very generally worded law allowing for much interpretation, but basically says you can drop your child (up to age 19) off at a 'safe' place if you cannot or don't want to care for them. Ouch. “All children deserve our protection,” said Sen. Tom White, who helped broaden the measure. “If we save one child from being abused, it’s well, well worth it.” But I worry, will children who already feel unloved not have that notion proven to them when their parent does indeed drop them off...even in a fit of anger/frustration/helplessness. I get upset when I hear of married couples casually threatening divorce/abandonment during an argument. I believe that is very damaging to a relationship. Once you've said that you are contemplating ending the relationship, the relationship becomes less secure and trust between the individuals lessens. Now imagine a parent flippantly telling a rebellious, pain in the rear teenager, "I'm gonna drop you off..." You can't take that back. And isn't part of the security of parents is that they DON'T give up on you.

Today I saw the next article about 2 children (11 and 15) being dropped off in Nebraska. I hope no foster/adopted children in Nebraska read that. They already fear that nothing (especially relationships)lasts...now they know it's true.

Beyond being very afraid of the emotional damage this law can do to countless children, I wonder what the state is going to do with them? The foster care system is already short of parents. Who is going to care for (and I use the word care as in seriously caring what happens to them...not just feed and clothe them) these children?

Wish I had some great answers on how to save children, but I don't. I do believe Nebraska missed the boat on the safe-haven law and hope they repeal it.

Signs of the Times

I often find myself torn. Hearing, "Things are so bad today...What's the world coming to?...The country's going downhill..." I find myself immediately agreeing and then thinking...are they really that bad. Or is it the increased reporting of the bad stuff making it all seem worse? But then I read this morning's paper and felt like the nay-sayers are probably right.

The first story that had me reeling was a story on the cost of attending the Buccaneers' football games. A woman was complaining that she didn't know how much longer she could attend games...she estimates with tailgating, gas, tickets and food she spends $700 for her family to attend a football game. $700? Are you kidding? For 6-8 hours worth of entertainment...that's $100 an hour! It really floored me. This wasn't something she does occassionally. They attend all home games...that's $5600 for the season, excluding any playoff games. $5600 on entertainment from Sept thru December. $1400 a month! My mind is having a very hard time getting a handle on this. It is simply incredible. That would be like spending $278 in 1980. An amazing amount of money any year.

So after exclaiming outloud while reading that story, I moved on to read about the train engineer who was text-messaging while driving a train! In text-message format: OMG.

I sometimes feel like I must be going crazy because I see these stories as incredible instead of expected.

Silence

A recurring theme keeps cropping up at my Teams meeting (couple prayer group). That we don't have enough silence and still-time. And that we all really crave it. People are so far removed from experiencing silence, that they don't recognize their cravings, and often try to fulfill it with more...more noise, more activity, more things. When we went to New York City back in June, the noise was incredible. We went back to our hotel room mid-day to recoup, not just because of the heat, but we needed some time of silence. I read about homes with the TV on for 8, 9 hours a day. The TV is on in my house too much, but it's usually 1-2 hours in the afternoon (Oprah, Dr. Phil, news, or a Disney show the Imp is watching), then it's off through dinner time and is often on from 8-11...sometimes later, especially with overtime baseball games (the Rays won in the 14th inning the other night) and late football games (USF beat Kansas last night!) I've found myself turning the TV off more and more, even during those times. It's too much. We taken the Imp's i-pod away at night when we discovered she was essentially sleeping with it on. I just don't understand that one. But we told her....you need some quite time. How can you hear God or even yourself if you never stop the noise. Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God.

I spent yesterday scrap booking with a friend (9-3). It was wonderful on many accounts...I love working with the pictures and remembering the events from the photos, and I love creating 'pretty' pages. I love the creative process. And I love the social aspect of doing it with someone else and gabbing all day. When I got home, I called my mom while Hubby drove us to get the Imp after swim. We took the Imp and some friends out for a quick bite before depositing them back at school for the football game. We got back home around 8pm. I just wanted quiet. To be with people all day...I just needed a little time of quiet. Our pool outback is wonderful for that.

As I read Cindy's blog, I'm often find myself agreeing with her emphatically. Her minimalists views have me thinking how to stream-line my own life/house. I don't think I'll ever live off the grid, but I definitely aspouse to live modestly. I think that minimalist mentality transcends my life to include more than material things. It includes picking and choosing carefully that which I say 'yes' to. As a stay at home mom, I'm often asked to 'chip in and help out' and I have no problem with that, but I don't need to be on 8 committees or to have a slew of things to do for others. Our society tends to place great importance on a filled palm pilot/blackberry. There is nothing wrong with having nothing planned. That's when you have time to stretch your spirit and intellect...to read that article, or write that letter, or contemplate the universe.

I am not an elequent writer and feel I've not captured everythig I wanted to say...but it's a start.

Along the lines of simplicity, etc. the people collecting money at intersections is really starting to drive me crazy (pun intended). It seems at every big intersection in my part of town, there are people with buckets that walk among the cars stopped at the red lights, asking for donations. Can I not even drive in peace? This has been going on a while (as in years). People use to stay on the medians, try to make eye contact with drivers and if someone rolled down their window, then the collectors would approach a car. Not any more...they'll knock on your window!! Look....trust me I saw you there with your bucket and if I wanted to give I figured out I just needed to call you over. Looking straight ahead and leaving my window up is a sign....leave me alone. I give to people and organizations I have investigated, trust and believe in. I know there are many worthy causes out there. I can't give to all of them. These 'street collectors' are worse than telemarketers. I use to say hello to them...wishing them well, etc. But they have become so agressive I give them no encouragement at all. I use to think my smile and greeting would make their time in the hot sun more enjoyable and that having them know that even people who didn't give money, might support their endeavors in spirit. Not any more. Any encouragement from me only doubles their efforts to have me part with my money. Ugh. I actually plan to avoid some intersections the people have become so aggressive. The line I use with telemarketers leaves most of them speechless. I tell them I lost my brother to ALS and support that organization and don't have anything more to share with theirs.

Out of the Cone of Uncertainty

Once again, Tampa seems to be out of the path of another hurricane. Ike looks like he's going to Texas. Just hope that he doesn't hit Louisiana again. I just found out that my almost 80 year old aunt is still without electricity in Baton Rouge from Gustav. I hate to say we'd like a storm, but the last few storms have actually drawn moisture away from us and we need some rain. Without a tropical system hitting Tampa in August or September, it's hard for us to meet our annual average of rainfall.

Saturday night's USF vs UCF game was quite exciting. USF blew UCF out of the water last year 64 to 12. This year USF announced that 2008 would be the last year that USF played UCF. UCF took it as an insult and there was a lot of trash talk before the game. UCF was fired up to show USF that they were serious rivals. USF led UCF 24 10 going into the 4th quarter. UCF tied the score and than USF missed a field goal to win the game. Overtime was required. Fortunately, USF managed to score a touchdown and hold UCF, so they won 31-24. Whew. The Singer went to the game and said it was quite an experience being there. I'm trying to talk Hubby into going to Friday's game against Kansas.

The Rays are driving us crazy. They've lost way to many in the last 3 series. We're still hoping to be division champions... The Rays are exciting to watch. The Buccaneers lost their season opener. This household's not too upset. We're ready for Gruden to go. Don't like him, don't trust him. Think he's way over-rated. But it's hard not to cheer on the good guys like Derrick Brooks and our returning favorite, Warrick Dunn. (Both do an incredible amount for the community).

The Imp's school load is significantly more than in previous years. This is a good thing. For the most part she's managing her time pretty well and working hard. Last night was an exception. She has block scheduling (90 min classes), so she has an A and B-day schedule which alternate. She forgot that Algebra II was a B-day class and today is B-day. SO at 9:00 I'm giving her a tutorial on proofs. Ugh. She pulled it together and I don't think that'll happen again.

The Singer has begun swimming on the USF intramural team. She said she didn't know how much she missed swimming until she went. She also said she couldn't believe how out-of-shape she was...her arms felt like noodles after the first practice.

This week I'm out planting...my strawberry seeds came. Hubby's building me a new bed next weekend.

This and that

Things are beginning to settle into a routine. The Imp has swim practice M-F from 3-4:30, unless she has a meet. They tend to be on Tuesdays or Thursdays and are at 7pm. Bible Study starts next week. Hubby and I are attending the "History of the Bible" 8 week course at our church on Monday nights, and I'm attending a study on Exodus at another church on Tuesday mornings. Thursdays will find me at my friends scrapping away. Life is so very good.

I spent today trimming bushes in the yard. It was quite hot. This past week has been the hottest in a long time as we've had no rain to cool us off. Tomorrow I beginning planting for my 'cool weather' harvest. I ordered my strawberry seeds and lettuce seeds last week. Hubby is talking about making me another raised bed for my veggies. Like I said, life is very, very good.

The Singer is settling in at college. The first night her roommate was there, the roommate went out and drank so much that after getting sick she didn't even remember it in the morning. Fortunately, of the 4 girls in the 2 rooms which share a study space and bathroom, there are 2 drinkers and 2 non-drinkers. So the Singer changed rooms so she is now with a non-drinker. Whew. Her new roommate has been busy trying to convert the Singer and make sure she has been "saved." As a Catholic, we believe we have been saved by Jesus' death and Resurrection, but don't tend to use those words. Her roommate is not convinced that Catholics are saved. After spending the first 18 years of her life in predominately Catholic settings, the Singer is surprised that many other Christians don't really believe Catholics are Christian. Hopefully, the roommate seeing the Singer's actions, attendance at Mass, etc. will accept her for who she is.

The Imp ran into a similar event when a classmate, a Jehovah's Witness, began to try to proselytize her. Again, she was more than taken aback the someone wouldn't accept that her faith was just as real and as important as theirs. Great learning situations for both girls. A Catholic Radio Station talk show host, Gus Lloyd is holding classes entitled "Want to know what to say to defend your Catholic faith?" The classes are aimed at high school students, so it's perfect timing for the Imp.

We're watching the train of storms coming in from the Atlantic. So far, so good. Hanna's gonna miss us. North Carolina looks like her target. Ike is still questionable and much stronger. Then Josephine is waiting to come at us after Ike.

Hubby is trying to fly to PA to visit his folks. Work keeps making him hesitate to make firm plans. The biggest hurdle is his parents' lack of Internet service. He'd have to stay in a hotel to have access to the Internet, meaning he could work 1/2 days while in PA. But he really wants to stay with his folks, partly because they want him to, and partly so he can better see what needs to be done. Last year he helped 'winterize' their house with storm windows and such. So my goal is to have him in PA by the end of October. I think we'll be staying home for Thanksgiving and will probably travel to SC to see my parents after Christmas.

Hubby and I were watching Christopher West and were wishing more would listen to him. He's a dynamic speaker and what he has to say about the human body and sexuality is awesome.