Talent Show, Swim Meet and Homecoming

Somehow we survived the weekend and now I'm looking forward to being able to catch my breath (maybe). The Singer (Driver) competed in the school Talent Show last Tuesday night. She sang "The Wizard and I" from the musical "Wicked." She won 3rd place. 1st and 2nd places went to dancers. She was so happy, because she won money. As she's paying for much of her Homecoming experience, a few extra dollars was nice.
Friday was planned out to the minute. The girls have a small job at the church straightening the books and picking up trash. They normally do this on Friday afternoon. So Friday, the Singer was driving to school and then picking Hubby up from work and meeting the Imp and I at the church to clean and then get home for a quick bite to eat, load up the car and head to the Homecoming game and then off to Ft Myers for the swim meet. The Singer gets out of school at 3:10 and was suppose to pick up Hubby around 3:30. At 3:35 I get a call. "Mom, I messed up." Of course, I was thinking accident...hopefully a fender bender as she's calling me. My heartbeat is suspended as I wait for her to finish. "I left the lights on all day and the car won't start." I was so relieved that it wasn't worse, but somehow the stupid little inconveniences are worse. Somehow we manage to rise to the occasion when something catastrophic happens, but when it's an annoyance, we, well, get annoyed. That was me on Friday. I couldn't believe it! Our perfectly timed afternoon was shot. Ugh. After the coaches jumped started the car (they wanted her out of the parking lot as they were setting up for the game!) we spent the rest of the afternoon rushing around trying to make up for lost time. Somehow we managed to get it all done, and get the Singer to the game so she could sing the National Anthem. We left at half-time for the trip down to Ft. Myers. The trip was hard because it was very windy. We got to the hotel about 11:15pm. We went to check in and the young man at the front desk said, "You already checked in." No, we hadn't. Fortunately, after checking the room, he determined it was a clerical error and no one was actually in our room. We were settled and ready for sleep by midnight.

The entire swim season has been unsettling because it seems the coach doesn't really know what she's doing. Either that or she just can't/doesn't communicate what she knows to the team. The Singer gets to the meet and finds out they're swimming the 200 m free relay, not the 400. Now, I don't know if our coach broke any rules, but the Singer has never been on the 200 m relay. She certainly was not on that team for Districts, so she didn't qualify for the 200 m relay. But that was what the 4 girls were going to swim. As they didn't come close to making it to the finals, I wasn't too concerned and the coach said all was within the rules. (She wasn't convincing to me). So we drove 2 1/2 hours, stayed overnight in a hotel, watched 4 hours of swimming, all so we could watch the Swimmer for the 3o seconds she was in the pool (2:00 for her team)so we could then drive home for 2 1/2 hours. Once home the Singer began the process of preparing for Homecoming. I did her hair and make-up and off to her friends for pictures. I obviously didn't take this seriously enough. I only brought one camera, and didn't insist on the 28 different poses for the Singer to be in. Hubby talked to the Singer's "date" (a friend not boyfriend) and made sure he knew he was responsible for keeping the Singer safe. And we went home to wait to go pick her up from the friend's after-dance get together. When the Singer got home, I asked how it went. She told me dinner with her group of 10 friends was great and lots of fun. Then said that she didn't understand the whole hoopla around Homecoming dance and that she didn't really enjoy going somewhere to "watch so many people trying to have sex with their clothes on." She would have preferred to hang with her friends for the rest of the night. She loved getting dressed up, and she loves dancing. She didn't like the atmosphere of high school Homecoming.
I'm tired today, but from doing things for my family. It feels good. My heart goes out to Cindy and her family that have been going from crisis to crisis. My thoughts and prayers are with them all today.

This and That

I am so tired of my swollen, itchy eye. It has gotten progressively better each day, but still is driving me crazy.

The weather is gorgeous and sitting out by the pool is definitely on my lunch time plans.

It's nice having Hubby home. We originally thought this would be a calm week as swim was suppose to have ended. But since the Driver made it to Regionals on her 400 m free relay team, they've continued practicing. She is now wanting to join her old club team so she can swim year-round. The good thing about that is the club team practices 3 miles down the road (the school team practices near the high school...9-10 miles away). With the club team, she can come home from school and then drive herself to and from practice later. We're off to Ft. Myers for Regionals tomorrow night, after the Driver sings the National Anthem at the HOmecoming game. Warm-ups for swim start at 7:30 am on Saturday. Then after the meet we'll drive home in time for the Driver to get all dressed up so she can go to the Homecoming Dance. 'Sure hope she doesn't have too much homework this weekend.

I'm busy developing a workshop for our catechists. I'm suppose to teach them how to be more effective teachers in their religious ed classrooms. Most are simply volunteer parents with no educational backgrounds, so they are eager for any tips or help that come their way. So, I'm searching through my stuff trying to pick those ideas that will help them the most. I have 2 hours to present. Not really much time at all.

Word has it that my brother and his wife are celebrating their anniversary at the beach. Sure hope they have great weather and time to relax. They both deserve it.

Hubby is planning on taking off of work the whole week of Thanksgiving. We're planning on painting the outside of the house. Not something I'm necessarily looking forward to (I like the painting part, I don't like the prep, the set up and the clean up to that activity, and the planning of how to keep the house running even if I'm spending the day painting). Our goal is to be finished before Thanksgiving Day.

Hubby's Home

I got the girls into bed and headed to the airport last night to get Hubby. Not only was his flight on-time, it landed a few minutes early which meant, as I walked to the "gate" (as close to the gate as they allow non-ticketed people), people were coming off the plane. We watched the luggage go round and round on the conveyer belt, but no Hubby suitcase. Fortunately, it was at the airline office by the baggage-claim. We got home and enjoyed tea and hot chocolate as we watched the highlights from the Buccaneers' game. I could watch that 62-yard kick over and over. Watching Ronde Barber's 2 interceptions was fun, too. I could skip watching the missed tackles, though. To the defense's defense, it was one hot and humid day. The field temp was 100 degrees. The humidity was close to 80% (not as bad as our summer 98%, but still noticeably sticky). The personal note on our kicker, Bryant: his son, who was born prematurely, just came home from the hospital this week. Things seem to be looking up for him. He's actually got quite the story with working at a pawn shop while trying to make it in pro football. He played in arena football and in the European league. Gotta love that kind of tenacity.

With Hubby home, I slept better last night than I have all week. It would have been nice to sleep longer, but the quality was definitely there. My eye is still swollen, but seems like it doesn't itch as much. I'll probably give it another day before seeking professional opinions. The Imp, who is very empathetic and hates to see anyone uncomfortable, kept asking me yesterday if she could do something for me. I kept telling her, I just had to tough it out. Then she asked me if I put anti-itch cream on it. I told her, I don't put things near my eyes, unless told to by my doctor. When I explained that you wouldn't want to accidentally get any in your eye, she immediately got it and said, "Ewww, that would be worse than it itching." You got it.

Our week is underway. I didn't get much done on my consulting work this weekend, so am behind and need to give it a good 3 or 4 hours today. I'm selling Homecoming tickets at lunch at the Driver's school. And I have to bake something for Bible Study for tomorrow morning (also have to finish the questions). I'll wait until tomorrow afternoon to flush out my lesson plan for tomorrow night's Adult confirmation class. Sure glad I don't do any work.

Tomorrow night is the Driver's Talent Show. She's singing "the Wizard and I" from "Wicked." I'll have to miss it. I'm going to try to talk Hubby into buying a camcorder before then. I really want to see and hear her. I can't believe I have to teach. We have tapes and tapes of home videos from when the girls were small. About 6 years ago our camera's audio recording sort of died. So we don't have any recent video. I also want to get the tapes transferred to DVD. I like watching even if it bores everyone else.

62-Yard Field Goal

What an end to the game. Buccaneers beat the Eagles in the last seconds of the game! I couldn't believe it. The Buccaneers have been disappointing fans for years (only a few years that they haven't). After 10 years of awesome defense, they didn't show up this year until last week. Missed tackles almost cost us the game again today with Westbrook's TD. He should've been tackled 4 times before he hit the endzone. Ugh. But Bryan putting up a 62-yarder after choking the first 4 games of the season was unbelievable. I had the TV on but refused to watch, but looked up as the ball cleared the uprights. WOW! Now if the Redskins can win (they're up 14-13 at the half) today will have been a really good day.

Eye--strain

My brain races with ideas and when I slow down to put them into words on the page; I lose so many strands of my thoughts. I usually have lots of different ideas twirling around in my head. Hubby asks me "What are you thinking about?" and my standard response is "In which millisecond?" Today, I'm having more trouble than normal in organizing my thoughts in such a way that will make sense others. I don't know what happened, but my right eye is all swollen. It's my upper eyelid. When it started bothering me yesterday afternoon, I thought I'd gotten a bug bite. But there's not an obvious bite site. And it itches all over my eyelid, especially right under my eyebrow. About an hour ago, my other eye started itching, but I'm telling myself it's sympathetic itching and that this problem won't spread. Itching is one of those things that would be a great torture mechanism. It takes all my concentration not to scratch it (and I've stopped to but ice packs on it a number of times to try to freeze the itch away). Fortunately, it's not too swollen. I can still open my eye easily. I can tell it’s swollen, but it's not like when I was 7 and got poison ivy all over my face and my eyes were almost swollen shut (or like when my sister had a reaction to eye make-up remover and her eyes were swollen shut). In addition, my allergies are in high gear, so my whole head feels heavy. I just want to lie down on the couch all afternoon and watch football. No such luck. Too much to do.

Hubby comes home tonight. Finally. It's lonely in the house without him. The Driver is talking of driving to school this week. She got use to having access to the car. She's not gonna like that her dad has first preference on that vehicle.

Friday was one of those days from hell. I spent the day doing my weekend housecleaning as the Imp was bringing friends home before their dance. To prove Murphy's Law, the toilet in the girl's bathroom got clog...and good. I really hate low-flow toilets and often wonder how much water they really save, when you often have to flush multiple times and when they get clog so easily. This toilet has always seemed more prone to clogging than the one in the master bath (or is it because kids use that one and adults use the master bath? I wonder). I've got a call into a plumber to come out this week to check and make sure we don't have root problems, or something because this commode has become clog on a regular basis this past month. Friday afternoon, I spent at least an hour trying to unclog the toilet to no avail. Finally, we had to leave for the dance. When I got home, I spent another one or so working with a snake and plunger. No luck. I was near tears. Time came for me to pick up the girls and still the toilet was clogged. After picking up the Imp from the dance and the Driver from Hallowscream, I came home and tried again. Sometime around 12:30 am I finally got it working. So what did you do on Friday night? I guarantee it was more fun than what I did.

Having Netflix is a great thing. I've "ordered" lots of old shows to watch (and to introduce my children to, so they have some cultural literacy). I watched the first few shows from Mork and Mindy last night. Robin Williams was soooo young, and so incredibly funny. The story lines are corny, but the one-liners cause belly-ache laughs. The Driver came in and actually watched a whole show. She was laughing out loud, too.

I was helping out at school last week and a mother who had taken the afternoon off of work, commented "sure wish I was a stay-at-home-mom so I could just volunteer whenever I wanted." The image of bon-bon, soap-opera watching women is still strong in society. I can't volunteer at my daughter's school "whenever" because I have a number of other volunteer obligations that I do during the school day. In addition, I stay at home to make our quality of life better. So it's my job to get basic household chores complete, so when we're home as a family we're not spending all our time keeping our house up. Additionally, I spend time preparing meals, sewing costumes, and yes, I even bake cookies for my family. I worked full time with kids. It was not fun. It's extremely stressful. I constantly felt that I wasn't doing what I should both at home and at my job. I made my kids a priority, but still could not give them the time and effort I do now. The Imp use to get up and sit in my lap for 15 minutes as she woke up. After those 15 minutes, I was out the door. So if she wanted 5 extra minutes, I really couldn't give them to her. And even rocking her and cooing to her, my mind would be on my job that day. Hubby and I could have more stuff (better vacation, clothes, cars, etc) if I went back to work. And the lack of structure and the lack of a sense of accomplishment with being a stay-at-home mom aren’t easy. But we, as I've mentioned before, went back to our family life plan...."to raise our children to know, love and serve the Lord." When you have a mission statement, it's easier to decide what the right thing to do is.

Great News

Got great news from two fronts today. My sister-in-law once removed (my brother's wife's sister), Cindy, is home from the hospital. All her children are still in one piece, and it seems her tumor was benign. Doesn't get much better. My 84 year old father-in-law had a heart catheterization today. The doctor says his heart looks good. [The worry persists, if it wasn't his heart, why is his blood low on oxygen...hoping for a better update later). As November 1 approaches (the anniversary of my brother's death), I'm so happy to hear good news in the health department.

The week continues to be a whirlwind affair. I feel emotionally drained. Nothing really out of the ordinary has happened, but just dealing with all the ups and downs of two teenage daughters is exhausting.

The Imp got her hair cut Tuesday. We braided her hair and then chopped it off. She gave the 10 inch braid to Locks of Love. The Driver had done the same thing last year. Well, the Imp was not happy with the outcome of the haircut. First, more hair was cut-off than she anticipated (what part of '10 inches' off don't you understand?) and she decided the cut she wanted wouldn't work on her hair with it so short. So she settled on a bob with bangs. When the hairdresser was all done, Theresa felt like she looked about 5 years old. She wasn't amused. To her credit, she didn't complain and took it in stride. She came home, jumped in the shower, washed her hair and spent the next few hours playing with her hair. She finally decided the best look was two small pony-tails at the back of her head. It was almost more draining on me, watching her take it so well, when I knew she wasn't happy, than if she had screamed, yelled and cried. Don't tell her, but I think she looks cute (and she did have the same haircut at 5).

It's been wonderful having the Driver able to help make our divergent schedules work. She is still enamored with driving, so is willing to drive almost anywhere for any reason. Yesterday afternoon she had some time on her hands, so she went and cleaned out the inside of the car (the vehicle she prefers to drive) and then washed the outside, too. She claimed she was doing it so when Hubby came home (4 days later) he'd have a clean car.

I got to scrapbook today for a few hours before heading off to the Imp's school to help sort and organize the fund-raiser orders. That actually went better than expected. Everyone was willing to work hard and easily understood how we were running things. We got done faster than expected...always a pleasant surprise.

The Driver is off to Hallowscream at Bush Gardens tomorrow night. I'm betting she won't enjoy it, but she has to find out for herself. She doesn't like to be scared, and doesn't enjoy gore. I'm just hoping she can sleep afterwards. The Imp slept with me last night, claiming she couldn't sleep with Dad not home. She doesn't like it when our family is apart. If it were up to her, we'd all sleep in the same bed together every night. Cuddling, snuggling and being able to reach out and touch someone are important for her.

The Imp is having 3 other girls come home with her tomorrow so they can get ready for their school dance all together. Pizza for dinner sounds about right. Then just 2 more days until Hubby is home.

Life with Hubby Away

Saturday's Fall Festival at the Imp's school was loads of fun. The weather was mild (it could have been a little cooler) and the atmosphere wonderful. I won the cake decorating contest. I'll publish pics when I get them. The best part of that was I received a gift card to Target. I can't wait to go spend it.
Sunday was spent running around helping Hubby get ready for a week away in San Diego. The girls petitioned all day for the Driver to be able to use the car all week and drive the two of them to school and wherever else they needed to go. Actually, that's why I took the Driver to get her license. I knew having her able to drive herself would make this week tolerable.
As I looked ahead to my week, I was little dismayed. I have something every evening this week. I hate going out at night. I had a planning meeting (that I ran) for an upcoming church event on Monday. Tuesday I teach adult catechism. Tonight I have a PTA meeting at the Imp's school (report cards will be distributed). Tomorrow I go to take a class to become a certified catechist. Friday night has the Driver planning on attending Hallowscream at Bush Gardens with her friends and the Imp is bringing a few friends home from school so they can get ready together for the school dance that night. Saturday, I may just get to relax (but I'm really not counting on that...a lot can happen between now and then).
The Driver had District swim meet yesterday. The club pool where it is held is about 3 miles down the road from us, so the Driver had 2 friends come over Monday night to sleep over since they live about 20 miles away. Then after the morning heats, 4 of the swimmers came and hung out at our house until finals at 4:30pm. The Driver didn't qualify for finals in "her" event (200m free) but did qualify with her 200m free relay team.
While that is going on, I've got the Imp taking her to get her hair cut. She had 10 inches cut off to send to Locks of Love. She wanted a contemporary haircut with layers, but couldn't explain it and didn't have a pic, so she got a bob. She's not thrilled with it, so I had to spend time convincing her she didn't look "stupid." On our way home from the hairdressers, we stopped to pick up take-out Chinese (the Driver's favorite place) for dinner. I had 20 minutes to eat before having to go teach my class. When I left, the Driver was still at the swim meet.
Last spring we finally splurged and bought family cell phones. We've been trying to instill in the kids proper cell phone etiquette. Not easy. They are for important info. We can survive without constant contact. Don't ignore those you are with and don't be calling Mom and Dad continually. We've had some problems with cell-phone overuse and we're working on it.
People who use cell phones constantly really irritated me. You can give an hour of your time to a meeting, church, or whatever, without having to talk on your phone. I normally turn my phone off during meetings. But as Hubby is out of town and the Driver was out there on her own for the first time(s) really, I had my phone on during my Monday night meeting (that I'm running). The meeting began at 7:00 pm. At 7:15, my phone vibrates. My heart stops as the different awful scenarios play out in my mind as I pick up the phone. It's MY HUBBY! He's at the Houston airport and was calling just to pass the time. Ugh. Fortunately, as soon as I said, "I'm at my meeting." he knew just to hang up. Now it's Tuesday night and I'm standing in front of my adult class. Again, I feel my phone vibrate. Again, I think "car accident", "house fire" and so on. I answer, and I hear a bee-bopping excited screech, "Mom, guess what?" I could tell right away it's not bad. "I'm in class. Is this an emergency?" "No, but I want to tell..." I say "good-bye" I get home 2 hours later and the Driver says "I forgot you were teaching." Where did she think I was? But the good news is that her relay team made it to Regionals, to be held on Oct. 28. Which immediately brought up issues as that is Homecoming. Regionals will be held in Fort Myers (a few hours south of here). I told her we'd work it out.
Amidst the craziness of getting ready for Hubby to be gone a week, I find out my grandmother had passed away (not totally unexpected) in Louisiana. So I spend a few hours trying to figure out how I can make it to LA while Hubby is in San Diego and keep my kids safe. The $1000 airfare helped me decide to stay put. One of the problems of families being spread out across the country.
I never sleep well when Hubby is gone, so I'm a bit tired. The best part is that the hardest part of my week is over. The things I have to go to tonight and tomorrow, I attend as a participant, not a leader. BIG difference. So now I can spend today working on my online work and doing a little house-cleaning.
I miss Hubby and just having him to share with. Due to the time difference it's hard for us to even talk. He's working 8 am - 9 pm essentially (part of this trip is to get to know a new guy he'll be working with in the future as his old co-worker is handing over the project, so dinners together is part of the job. And of course, he's still responsible for doing his other work, too.). By the time he gets back to his hotel room, it's after midnight here. He calls during breaks in his day, but the conversations are short and tend to focus on tasks, not really sharing. My brother traveled extensively for a few years (almost every week) while my sister-in-law stayed home with a baby (from when he was 6 months to when he was over 3). I don't know how they did it. And I know it's hard to travel...I still say it's harder to be the one who stays at home. I know I'd have complained non-stop if I'd been in her shoes. She took it all like a real trooper. My sister-in-law deserves some sort of medal. Sure hope my brother realizes the gem he's got in her.

The Singer is Now the Driver

Sometimes my days seem so average and normal, that I don't write about it, but as part of the reason for this blog is so my family can take a peak at what's up in my life, I guess I shouldn't decide what's newsworthy or not.

The girls had no school yesterday (teacher work-day). The Imp spent the night on Thursday with a friend, so she wasn't around yesterday morning so I took the Singer to get her drivers license. We now have the DRIVER. She asked five times last night, "Are you sure you don't need anything from the store? I'd be glad to go get it." I'm looking forward to taking advantage of that. Today the Driver had SATs. So last night, I asked if she wanted to drive. She immediately said "NO! I have enough stress going to take the test." I was a little disappointed as her driving would have saved me froming having to get up and dressed at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to get her to school (8 miles away) by 7:45am. Hubby would normally take care of such a task, as he is a morning person, but he had to oversee an installation of new code, and had to be at his computer at 7:30 this morning. The alarm sounded early this mornign.

I spent my yesterday baking for the Imp's school's Fall Festival. There is a cake decorating contest. So I made a "Pool Party" cake; including Teddy Graham swimmers and lifeguard. I'll post pictures when they're developed. It was an all day event between baking the cake and icing it and filling the middle with blue jello and then putting it all together. I also made mini cupcakes with green icing and the candy-corn-flavored pumpkins on top. I was tired of cake and candies and icing by last night, but I really had fun putting it all together.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous today. Crisp cool air. Wow. Another perfect day in paradise. This afternoon and tonight should be perfect weather for the festival. Some years it's been so hot, it was hard to enjoy the evening.

Hubby and I are trying to get him ready to be gone a week. He leaves Monday morning and returns the following Sunday night. Ugh. It's hard being a single parent, especially when you're use to having someone else to help out. I really can't imagine the stress of single parenthood. I rely on Hubby so much. And I'm not talking about the car-pooling and such (all though that is helpful), but am refering to having him to talk to about what is going on with the kids and having him to lean on. It's nice to know there is someone on my side after a blow-out with one of the girls. In addition to missing him because of parenting issues, I'll miss him because he is so much a part of my life. Our conversations will be limited because of the time change. He'll be in California, so when he's finishing up work and dinner (a continuation of work) at 9:00 pm it's already midnight here. When I get up and leave to take the girls to school, it'll be 4:10am in CA. Oh well. It's not much to complain about, but I'll still miss him.

Hubby's dad is having heart problems again. He's scheduled to have heart surgery on Thursday. The doctors suspect some form of blockage that needs clearing up, again. He'll be 84 at the end of this month and had his first heart surgery at least 12 years ago. So we worry and pray and again, wish Hubby and I would be together on Thursday. One of Hubby's sisters (he has 3) who lives in the same town in PA with his parents will spend the day with his mom at the hospital. It's nice to know she's there. Hubby is planning a big present for his parents 60th anniversary in May. He's having all the kids (9 of them) make a few pages for a scrapbook to give them. We're also trying to get all 9 kids to PA for the anniversary. That'll be hard, but we'll try.

Lambasting the Police

Yesterday at Bible study we were discussing Hebrews 4 and why it was important that Jesus had suffered as a human. The dicussion went to the fact that we tend to judge others by our own experiences. This is not necessarily bad, but when so many of us such limited experiences it often makes our judgement incorrect. Someone who has been betrayed many times, may judge a new person in their life as untrustworthy. And people who have lived a sheltered middle-class American life often cannot get beyond their own experiences and so judge others very harshly. "I would NEVER do that!" Well, live their lives and then tell me that. So many examples come to my mind. People judging Cindy's kids as ungrateful because of their tendency to act out during times of stress. Dear Abby today, where a teen-age girl complains about the behavior of her friend. Her friend's mother has been dead for years and her father has a drug problem. The teen-age girl (and her family) took her in. The teen-age girl cannot imagine why the friend would do hurtful things. She can't imagine it, because she can't imagine what the friend's life has been like. About two weeks ago a deputy and his canine partner were shot and killed during a "routine" traffic stop. The next day, following an extensive manhunt for the killer, a 10-man SWAT team (walking in a row shoulder-to-shoulder in their search) found the gunman. When told to surrender, the gunman weilded a gun. The members of the SWAT team fired. The suspect was shot 68 times. 110 rounds were fired. The family of the suspect, Freeland, are now suggesting that this was excessive. They've hired a lawyer. Ugh. This puts us back to viewing life only from your personal experience. Many in the community are supporting the Freelands. How many of these people have ever gone searching for someone they knew was not afraid to kill them? How many are willing to put their lives on the line everyday for the safety of the community? Police are taught to shoot to kill. It is not because of some deep-rooted hatred of people. It is not because police love the idea of killing someone. It is because, once you are in a shot-out, your survival often depends on the other person's demise. Computing an average of shots, each officer fired about 11 times. That happens very quickly. It's not as if Freeland was shot and they saw him laying on the ground and they continued to fire at him. Each man fired as if he were the only one firing and it was over very quickly. Not really relevant, but Freeland shot Officer Williams 8 times. After shooting him in the leg, arm, chest, neck, Freeland than went up to Williams and shot him in the back of the head execution style. So I am upset that the Freelands are suggesting the police did something wrong. But, that is me looking at it from my life experience. As a military brat, my perception of law-keepers and public officials is much different than many others. So I can begin to understand the feelings of Freeland's family when I look at it from their view. From the articles, it appears they are probably lower-middle class African-Americans. Freeland has been in trouble with the law before. That family's culture says not to trust the law. I still don't agree with what they are doing, but am less likely to lambaste them, even if they lambaste the police.

Abusing Volunteers

I'm fed up. And now about more than one thing. I just wrote a long blog about volunteer "abuse" and somehow hit some key inadvertently and lost the whole thing. Ugh.

I'll try to recapture the tone and nuances (although my indignation seemed to dissipate as I wrote).

I am so tired of people telling volunteers they aren't doing enough. This is not a new phenomenon. I recall being at PTA meetings in years past (at a school we are no longer with) the 'regulars' consistently complaining about how other parents didn't do enough. Comments like, "Jane only volunteers for the fall event and never for the spring event" or "Suzy never comes to the meetings" or "Debbie is never available, and only sends in donations." I would tell them that we don't know what these people's lives hold. They could be caring for an elderly parent. They could be having marital problems. Or dealing with serious children issues (drugs, pregnancy, learning problems, and mental health issues). Or they have a true fear of public involvement. Or they have a disease that prohibits it and they don't want to share it. Or WHATEVER. It doesn't matter what. One of my favorite Bible verses is "Different gifts but the same Spirit." Some people have more to give (more time, money and talents) than others. If someone is giving, how dare anyone else question their gift! There are people who choose one organization and give their all to it. And thank goodness. We need zealots to chair and lead the organizations. But don't look down on those who are not zealots, who belong to many organizations and give a little to each. Let's not vilify volunteers for not giving more. Has this happened to me? Yes. Hubby and I devote one entire weekend each year to this organization (in the past we've given more time, in fact have been local coordinators as well as various other positions). At the meeting I kept hearing how people who only (only?) gave one weekend a year weren't really committed to the organization and that people needed to step up and take responsibility, etc. I was ready to stand up and scream, "Fine, I quit. You don't want what I have to give, don't take it!" Unfortunately (or fortunately) I believe in this organization and ministry so I didn't, but I did let my feelings known. People give what they can. We can't judge whether they can or should do more.

Full of Hatred and Emptiness

Listening to the radio the other day, I heard this description of too many people of the world: "They are full of hatred and emptiness." Now, I know that technically you can be full of emptiness and yet I found it a compelling and accurate depiction of many people. People are empty. We could debate the reason(s). I believe some of them include the concerted effort by many to remove God from everything; the ever growing division, world-wide, of the haves and have-nots; and the growing use of more and more powerful/destructive drugs (although this could be a cyclical argument, drug use causing emptiness and emptiness encouraging drug use). People strive to fill that emptiness with whatever is available and there are too many people/groups that are standing by waiting to fill up that emptiness with hatred. Hatred of what is not important. Because once you're filled with hatred, your targets soon become almost insignificant. You just hate. And the more you use the hatred to fill yourself up, the more you lose yourself and become consume with hatred. This description of hatred and emptiness was used to describe the church group (oxymoronic title at best) that wanted to picket the Amish girls’ funerals to promote their anti-gay sentiments. This group has made statements that they pray (to God?) that the people of Pennsylvania will continue to suffer to show them that gays are bad. It's illogical, but then hatred is. The Amish, fortunately, offer a glimmer of sanity amidst this. The Amish are not empty. They have a definite purpose (and their tie to the land may contribute to that) and are filled with love. Children need to be filled with a purpose for their lives. As a parent or any adult who interacts with children you can fill children up with love or hatred. Do you spout love or hatred? Do you live love or hatred? Are you more like the church group or the Amish? May you make room in your heart for God and love, so there is no space for hatred.

Delayed Post

When I sit down to my computer and hook up to the internet, one of the first things I tend to do is check Cindy's blog. Often, I find myself chuckling even over less than humorous events, because of the way she describes it. I also find I use laughter as a way to deal with events in my own life. I can describe the night the policeman came to tell me of my brother's death in a car accident. Trust me; there was nothing funny about it. But looking back on it, it is interesting to note human nature and subconscious actions. The policeman came after both my children were in bed asleep (maybe 9:30) and he pounded on the door. This was Nov 1 and my first thought was, "what high school darlings are playing trick or treat a day late?" Then as I looked through the peep hole and saw a police officer, my heart stopped. I instinctively knew "this is not good." But my first thoughts went to a troubled student I'd had the year before (now, why a police officer would come to my house at night because of this troubled young lady, I don't know, that's what makes you want to chuckle). I opened the door and the officer asked to come in. My protective instincts did not want anyone to enter my house while my children slept. But Hubby and I let him in. But only in the front room. I did not welcome him into my home. He knew I didn't want him there. When I think back and see me ushering him into my front study with only 2 desk chairs and only the light from the front hall shining in (no, I didn't turn on the light. Weird, huh?). It looks funny. By the end of the policeman's spiel I felt bad for him. He was very young and I bet he drew "inform the family" short stick.
Besides often giving me a good chuckle, Cindy's life helps me put perspective on my own. How can I complain about anything that happens in my house? It's all so 'normal:' lost homework, hormonal huffs, broken toilets, driving mishaps. The things that make up parenthood for the majority of us.
So I was going to blog about the inconvenience of having only 1 toilet for the 4 of us. Guess I'm a spoiled American, through and through. Tuesday, as I was getting ready for Bible Study, I noticed the toilet was "running." So, I took off the lid to the back tank and jiggled the little doohickey to make it stop. I couldn't get it to stop, so I tried bending the arm with the little plumb on the end. Well, I bent it to the point of breaking it off. Now, without that mechanism, there is no way for the water to stop at all. Our house was built at the end of 1995. The building industry in Florida was trying a new pipe system in homes...use PVC and rubber tubing through the attic of the home, instead of the work required to have it underground. The idea being repairs would be less expensive and easier. As part of this experiment, (or maybe this is standard today) our toilet does not have a shut off valve between the wall and the toilet. You have to go to the garage and turn off the water at a box similar to a circuit breaker box. There are rubber pipes coming out of a central box, each labeled for different spickets in the house. Now the problem arises because our garage is very small and when we pull our van into the garage (as we do each night) you can't get to the water main box. Add to this fact that I was doing all this fiddling with the toilet unclothed as I was getting ready to get in the shower! I have a toilet that isn't just dripping water, it's seriously running and each second I hear the water bill going "ching, ching". So I throw some clothes on, jump in the van, back it out of the garage and take 5 minutes trying to identify "master toilet." Somehow I manage to be only 5 minutes late to Bible Study. Not too bad.
Here it is Thursday and I still don't have a working toilet in the master bath. The fact that I haven't been home long enough to fix it could be why. Actually, Hubby and I went to work on it Tuesday night (after the swim meet) about 9:30pm. Halfway through we realized we needed a tool we didn't have. Too late to call anyone, but not too late for 24-hour Wal-Mart. Alas, Wal-Mart did not have what we needed. No problem, we'd fix it Wednesday. Wednesday morning I'm off to Home Depot for a big enough pipe wrench. On the way, the "tire pressure warning light" comes on. So before going into Home Depot, I check the tires. The rear right tire looks a little lower than the others. "I'll take the actual pressure when I get home," I say to myself. Coming out of Home Depot 15 minutes later and the tire is significantly lower than before I went in. I have 10 minutes to make it to my hair appointment (that is two weeks overdue) a few miles down the road. So, I hop in the van and as I'm driving, call Hubby and tell him all. Since my hair appointment includes color, cut and dry I will be there about 1 1/2 hours. So Hubby says he'll come change the tire while I get my hair done (told you I was spoiled). We have road hazard insurance on our tires through Sears, so I agree to head to Sears after my cut and take care of it. Hubby comes into the hair dressers all sweaty with greasy hands. He tells me that 2 of the lug-nuts are stripped. It took him forever to get them off and they are not totally back on. As we just had our tires rotated and balanced at Sears two weeks ago, he has the look of someone not happy. He tells me HE will go to Sears and I can pick him up there. So at pick-up time, I have our little Toyota Corolla and am driving to get the Imp and her friend, with the idea of picking up Hubby and dropping Hubby at home, the friend at dance and go back for the Singer at swim. As I'm driving, the Singer calls to say she's not well. So we got to drive the 10 miles from Hubby's work with 5 of us in the car. Thank goodness the trunk was empty and could hold the 3 backpacks, 2 gym bags, 3 lunchboxes, a briefcase and laptop.
No mishaps today. The Singer stayed home with a fever. No strep per the doctor. I went cropping late, but still got to do it. Picked up the Imp, got her to dance, and picked up snacks for the church meeting I'm running tonight, gave the Singer some Tylenol and TLC and now am determined to finish this blog I started on Tuesday before I fly out the door.
Hopefully I'll see my Hubby about 9 pm tonight.

Sooner is Not Better

Wow, a whole week since I last sat down to write. It doesn't seem that long. I drive around town and put many miles on my van taking my children places. Half the time, I'm alone and this gives me lots of "think" time. I've started writing my blogs in my head as I'm driving and when I get home and have the demands of motherhood in front of me, blogging gets put on the back burner as it feels like I've already written it. When 11pm rolls around, I'm too tired to type out my thoughts.

I was pretty much exhausted after my trip to SC. Tuesday saw me taking a wonderful and much needed 3 hour nap during the day. It wasn't until Wednesday that I really felt human again.

The Singer made us all proud with her 1st place finish in the 200m freestyle race on Thursday. Her 400m freestyle relay team also placed first. Her 200m time was 7 seconds faster than at the previous meet and an all time best. It was awesome! Maybe I need to start calling her the Swimmer.

The Singer is planning on going to Homecoming. We spent hours shopping for a dress this weekend (so did every other teen-age girl in Tampa). We actually had to wait in line for a dressing room! Ugh. We found a number of "okay" dresses and felt that this one dress was perfect, if only in a different size. Nope, they didn't have that size. We hit Dilliards, JC Penneys, Ross, Macy's and even strolled through Saks. I knew the dresses would be expensive, but didn't realize the cheapest would be $400. And, neither the Singer nor I thought their dresses were very attractive. We came home empty handed. We're heading off again next Saturday morning and I told her we will come home with something, if only an "okay" dress.

I was reading Newsweek the other day (the September 11, 2006 issue) and was saddened, and appalled, and shocked, and in a state of disbelief over the article about 1st grade. I have voiced my opinion before about my thoughts on kindergarten. Kindergarten should be a time of exploration and acclamation. Most children are not wired to learn to read in Kindergarten, yet that has become our goal of Kindergarten. Now 1st graders are being tested on their skills (and surprise, surprise) they're falling short of these unreasonable expectations. Kindergarten and 1st grade are critical years for students. The best teachers should be teaching this age. These teachers should be making more money. These 2 years lay the foundation of the student's view of school AND learning. We've now created a system where few students will finish 1st grade believing learning is fun. And most of the students will believe school is an uphill, often losing battle. When a child's brain is not developmentally able to grasp all the abstract notions needed to read, and when that child is then told they SHOULD be able to read, what other conclusion can the child come to than that he/she is a failure. Sooner is not better. There is no empirical evidence that reading at a younger age brings any kind of lasting benefit. Earliest readers are not necessarily the best high school or college students, and don't earn more money statistically than late readers. But we do know that if a child repeatedly fails, the child will give up, and in fact become a failure. So why are we doing this? Because Johnny can't read in high school. Starting earlier doesn't make Johnny a better reader. Let kids be kids. Learning to read at the end of 1st grade, or taking Algebra 1 in high school (as opposed to 7th grade, as is being pushed in many schools) does not indicate intelligence or future success. Sooner is not better. Elementary school children should have recess, everyday, and for the youngest, twice a day. Why? Because children need to move around. Because they need time to create their own games with their friends, or collect rocks and compare them, or watch the ants at the anthill scurry around, or just to breathe the air, or time to digest what they have learned and have a break from performing for the teacher. When you go to your doctor, do you ask "When did you learn how to read?" "Did you take all advanced courses in high school?" You don't really care. You care if they are competent and caring. Sooner is not better.
Let your kids go outside and play today.