My Hero, My brother, John

My hero is my brother, John. He has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). When he was diagnosed with it almost 4 years ago, his doctors basically told him he had less than a year to live. [I'm so glad they were wrong!] He's not my hero for outliving his doctors' predictions. He's my hero because of how he's chooses to live each day. John lives in South Carolina so I don't get to see him all the time, but I have been able to visit him about every 2 months since his diagnosis. I've talked to him on the phone and we email often. I can't remember him ever complaining about his disease. I can't remember him ever saying "Why me?" I can't remember him ever saying, "This is terrible." We have discussed his disease and the difficulties and frustrations that come with slowly becoming paralyzed, primarily how hard it is to give up your independence and rely on others for basic "life skills" (dressing, eating, etc). But, instead of the wallowing in self-pity that one might expect, I have seen someone who has said, "Well, I can't change it, so how can I make the most of it?" Obviously, he's the guy who makes lemonade out of the lemons in his life. John started the Sumter Muscular Dystrophy Fund in his hometown. (ALS is one of the muscular dystrophy diseases). He has worked to make the lives of others touched by Muscular Dystrophy better. [I guess John's living out the philosophy I spouted the other day Jesus tells us our joy will be complete when we follow God's commands. It is looking beyond ourselves; it is in looking toward God; it is in helping others that we experience that joy.] John has turned to God and in the process been an incredible example of how to live life (whether or not you have a terminal illness). I want to be just like my little brother when I grow up.

Pictures

Here are the pictures I got for my birthday.
The Singer wears glasses and The Imp has braces.






Rather beautiful, subjectivity aside.

The are rather good friends even being 3 1/2 years and 4 grades apart. Of course they argue, but they also show deep love and concern for each other. I think you can tell, they had fun doing this.

That Your Joy Might Be Complete

The priest today really focused in on the following statement from today's gospel reading: “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy might be complete." (John 15:11). This ties in with what I wrote about yesterday. Jesus didn't say that he wanted us to be happy (happiness by nature is fleeting) but that he wants us to have his joy and that our joy may be complete. Contentment. It is the Easter Season. It is a time to reflect on and rejoice in the salvation won by Jesus' death and resurrection. Jesus tells us our joy will be complete when we follow God's commands. It is looking beyond ourselves; it is in looking toward God; it is in helping others that we experience that joy. Here's to a joyous life.

This week promises to be busy with things I don't particularly enjoy, so I will have to search for ways to look beyond myself so I may experience joy regardless. It is the last week of school so both girls with be stressed with exams. I'm not always the most patient when they moan aloud about the trials and tribulations of being a student. In addition, we take off on Friday for a 9-day car trip. We're taking 2 days to drive to western PA and then will stay there five days. Then drive to SC for a day and then home. We'll put close to 2500 miles on the van before returning hom. So as the MAH, I get to prepare for the adventure. Change the oil, have the tires rotated, shop for car food, make sure laundary is done, make sure the mail and paper are stopped, pack "fun things" to occupy us in the van (primarily books on tape and DVDs the girls can view on my laptop computer). Tomorrow is the start date for another online course that I moderate so I'll need to make sure I check my email often to answer any pressing questions. Sounds like I'm complaining, and maybe I am to a degree. I'm just trying to figure where the joy in these activities are. I'm not quite spiritually "atuned" to bask in the joy of "providing" for my family. Guess I need to work on it. And while I love to see and visit with my relatives, I am a home-body and am not looking forward to being out of my home for 9 days.

Driving Lessons

Teaching a teenager to drive is quite an experience. Talk about having to trust! How do you teach someone who doesn't have great hand-eye coordination? My oldest daughter, The Singer, is almost 16 and has her permit. She wanted to drive home from the library today. On a six-lane highway, driving in the right lane, she hugged the left white lane line! "Drive in the middle of the lane," I exclaimed. The lanes are very large, it's not like she didn't have space. She adjusted; a little. Then driving through our neighborhood, I hold my breath as the right side mirror comes agonizingly close to the mailboxes lining the street. "You're too close to the right," I state as the mirror misses the mailbox by mere inches. She gets huffy and says, "Well, you told me I was too close to the left!" I think I just gave up as a driver's ed teacher. It's just too exhausting. Seriously, I really thought she would have made more progress than she has. Driving is definitely not a natural ability for her. Fortunately she's taking Driver's Ed in June and that will hopefully help her.

As I'm a planner and thinker, I rarely do things "on the fly." I also just like to know things. So today, I checked out lots of books about creating an "edible" garden. I don't have lots of land on which to plant so I want to pick well. In the last 2 years, I've started to use more herbs in my cooking and would like to grow primarily herbs and such. As it is really already summer here in Florida, I've missed some of the prime planting season, but maybe I'll start something this year. Maybe a container garden on my back porch. I have to admit, that my interest has been fueled by reading my sister-in-law's blog. She has LOTS of land and grows LOTS of food and I will never be into gardening as much as she is. But I'll enjoy whatever I do, even if it's only planning this year.

Again, referencing Dr. Laura's book, she writes about bad habits (or more accurately non-productive habits). The main point being that behaviors that were appropriate to survive bad situations often become habits that do not help us successfully deal with our current situation. Whether you've had a bad childhood or not, we all probably do that to a degree. Behaviors appropriate to an 18 year old may not be appropriate for a 40-year old, but many 40 year olds cling to their habits from their younger days. It has made me think about my "knee-jerk" reactions to things. Have I developed non-productive, even counter-productive, habits in how I respond to things in my life? If I want to be successful, that is content (which is, by the way, different than happy), I need to review my habits and see if they are serving me well.

Life is good

I think I may be the luckiest person in the world. Life is good. My wonderful daughters went and had their picture taken professionally and gave me a framed photo for my birthday. How great is that? My husband signed me up for a year of Netflix! They gave me the new Casting Crowns CD, too. My birthday was absolutely wonderful! I was taken out to eat to a steak house. The best part of going to restaurants for dinner, is they give you so much food that you really get 2 dinners. I'll have a steak fijita for dinner tonight :-)

I'm reading Dr. Schlessinger's new book "Bad Childhood, Good Life" This is not to suggest I think I had a bad childhood. I read a lot about child development and also self-help. I'm enjoying the book. I don't always agree with everything Dr. Laura says, but agree with most of her basic philosophies: 1) you're responsible for your actions 2) parents have a responsibility to their children to put their children's well-being first 3) parenting is hard 4) marriage is important.

The weather is gorgeous, so I'm off to work outside. I got a Mr. Lincoln rose bush for Mother's Day and need to get it in the ground. Mr. Lincoln roses are a deep red and have a strong and wonderful aroma.

Beginnings and Birthdays

I've just begun doing this and had quite a time figuring it all out. I know it is essentially point and click and how hard can that be. Well, when you fail to see everything on the screen it IS difficult. I had a whole post about birthdays and such. But I lost it in my comings and goings with the blog. Maybe tomorrow.