Squirrels in My Attic

As I awoke this morning, praying for the Imp as soon as I was conscious for her first day of school, I heard the pesky squirrels running across my roof. But since I hear those squirrels running from my roof to the fence to the neighbors' roofs all the time, the noise didn't really penetrate into my conscious thoughts, until I realized the pitter-patter of their little feet sounded different. I think those pests have made a nest in the attic, right over my bed! I'm not sure when we'll get someone out to make sure our attic has no free-loaders.

The Imp's face is still a little swollen. If you didn't know her, you wouldn't know. She has a very thin face and this morning she looked like she had a fuller face. She realized this and said..."yea, I don't look inhuman anymore, but I don't look like me either." Fortunately, today is just orientation...an hour and a half with just her grade...basically the deans saying "Behave." Afterwards I'm taking her and her friends out to Village Inn for a breakfast. As her face looks better this morning than yesterday's, I'm sure she'll look even better tomorrow when she actually has to go to all her classes.

School Starts

School starts tomorrow for the Imp. She's trying hard not to freak on me, but not really succeeding. Her face is still a little swollen from the surgery and she can think of nothing worse than going to school on the first day with slightly swollen cheeks. I guess I'm glad that's the worst of her worries; it means her life is pretty darn good.

The house is a little topsy-turvy as we transition from one schedule/life-style to the next. The Singer doesn't leave for her dorm until next Wednesday but since she's working 1:30-10:00 PM she's no longer home during traditional "family time" so it's a lot like she's already gone. I'm looking forward to next Thrusday when we can really begin to set our fall schedule. I'm a schedule kind of person. The Imp should know her crew practice schedule by then and the Singer will be gone so we can figure out our new schedule. So between my minor angst at no real schedule for our home and the Imp's angst over a new school, I think we should just avoid each other for the next few days.

I've begun working in earnest on my wall sized crossword puzzle. It was given to me a few years ago at Christmas. There are 4 sheets of 2 x 3 ft puzzles and over 20,000 clues. The hardest part is the size of the numbers on the grid. Is that a 3 or a 5 or an 8. Then losing my place on the grid after looking at the clue. But I enjoy the challenge and it is relaxing in its own way for me.

The weather has definitely turned sweltering. If you go outside, for however brief of time, you will start to sweat. The air is humid and heavy. But I'm spending time planning my fall garden and will start serious work on my gardens (both vegetable and ornamental) next week with the Imp back in school. My days just got longer and much more open.

Wood Rack

Last weekend, Hubby, the Imp and I all went up to see my folks in SC. My little brother, Brian (who turned 36), and his family were there, too. The guys (Hubby, Brian and my dad) had the task of replacing my dad's rotting wood rack. My dad lives in the woods and collects fallen trees for his firewood. He had a wood frame with a tarp covering to stack this wood in. The tarp kept the wood relatively dry.
Brian got there before Hubby and dismantled the old frame. Some boards were 'humming' and vibrating. Wood-boring bees had made their home there. Better him than me handling that. Once Hubby got there the 3 men had a pow-wow over THE PLANS for the new structure. Dad, never to do anything half-way, wanted to make a concrete base. After some quick figuring made Brian and Hubby realize over 25 bags of 80 lb concrete would be needed, they nixed the idea. If my dad were in better health, he would have won the argument, because he would have done the work himself. Unfortunately for him, he had to give up some of the control on the project, and to his credit handled it pretty well. The boys didn't finish the project that will eventually rival a small play house. The frame is 12 ft wide and 3 feet deep. The front of the structure is 5 feet and the back 4 feet tall.

The frame is complete, including pouring concrete filler at the four support poles in the ground. Only the planks of plywood to create the floor and the vinyl roofing needs to be added.

It was fun and entertaining to watch the 3 of them try to figure it all out. Hubby really enjoyed spending the last day with my dad pouring the concrete. It was just the two of them then and Dad told stories of his youth back in rural Louisiana in the 1940s.
I got to spend time with the cutest, most energetic little boys. My nephews (6 and 3 1/2)are so charming it's scary. The younger one has the cutest little dimples. The will both be lady-killers and will get out of lots of scrapes with their impish grins and great sense of humor. My Imp loves them, but wasn't thrilled at their infatuation with the great outdoors. There were lots of bugs and various other critters roaming around my parents' house. She was ready to come home when they started catching bees in jars. My parents have some great spider webs around outside their house. We saw a spider resembling this one

The boys thought it cool; it gave the Imp the willies.
The Imp and I took my mom shopping at Columbia Mall. We did a lot of window shopping, not much buying, but had a great time just visiting.

Not a Good Patient

The Imp had her wisdom teeth extracted early this morning. She is not a good patient. She almost refused to get out the car, pouted before being called back and generally made me feel like I was walking on egg shells around her. Immediately after the procedure while she was still heavily sedated and still in the office, she was jovial and in relatively good spirits. By the time we got home, the sedation was wearing off but not the novacaine. She's been complaining ever since. She's cried a few times (she's not a crier) and "just wants it to be over!" Yea, me too. I tried to feed her a milkshake. "Mom, I can't swallow! I can't feel anything! It's still numb!" I'm trying to get food in her so I can get pain meds in her before the novocaine wears off. "I'm bored and I can't do ANYTHING!" Boy, I hope this child has no medical conditions requiring hospitalization.

I finally got some milkshake in her and some pain meds. She's fighting the sleep. I'm not sure why. She's miserable and working hard at making me miserable. Guess she's trying to test out the misery loves company idea.

My sister said the sedation period is the hardest on the parents and the next day or so hardest on the patient. Well....I definitely was praying hard sitting in the waiting room. Anesthesia is scary. But that was easier as I didn't have to interact with anyone. She doesn't want to be coddled, she wants the situation to disappear. She's mad at me since I can't get rid of it.

Only 7 more hours until Hubby is home and can relieve me of nursing duty. But he's not the best nurse, so...

Public vs Parochial vs Home schooling

With school getting ready to start, the arguments for public, private and home schooling abound. And I do have an opinion on this. There's a real shocker.
My strongest belief on this matter is that every student is different and anyone who advocates a type of school over a particular school has lost my vote.
My kids have primarily been at parochial schools. The main reason is Hubby's and I firm belief that religion isn't something you practice on Sundays. Being in an environment where God is referred to, turned to and given reverence is reinforcing what lessons are being taught at home. Some parochial schools do this better than others, which is why we transferred our kids out of one into another. Too often I hear the argument for academics as a reason for parochial school. In reality, the public schools in my area offer much more in the area of academics with gifted programs throughout elementary schools and an almost limitless selection of AP and dual enrollment courses, not to mention the vast electives offered, in high school. But our goal of parenting has never been to 'churn out' the brightest, best educated child. Our goal is to raise people who know and will serve God. Success to us is not the amount of money one makes. Obviously we wish our children to be able to support themselves. But I'd much rather them struggle to make ends meet in a job that does not encourage cheating, and dishonesty than making millions is a job that requires unethical corner-cutting. We want our girls to have a personal relationship with God and to be able to turn to Him for all their needs. But most parochial schools have a least some basic similarities.
Once you start talking public schools, it is hard to find similarities that are true for all of them across the board. The county the school is in determines a great deal about the school, but the principal and teachers make a school. A good principal will make a school a real community of support for the students. That is a hit or miss proposition, even in a system known for excellence. Hillsborough county is the 8th largest school district in the country. There is some awesome educating going on in this county. There is also some terrible things being done. The school and the individual class your child ends up in, makes a huge difference. We sent the Imp to the IB program because we feared boredom at the Catholic high school. But, boredom, is not the worst thing to happen to a student. In addition to the academic requirements being too vigorous for the Imp, the atmosphere was definitely anti-Catholic. Teachers and students, through comments and facial expressions, let the Imp know that her beliefs were seen as antiquated and ridiculously naive. Especially on the issue of abortion, where preventing a mother's 'right to choose" to kill her baby was seen as comparable to preventing women the right to vote or own property. I've taught in public schools, not all are like this. And the argument that you can't mention God in public schools is not true. I mentioned God as a teacher. I was careful to present things as my belief and always included that this was why I loved the USA because I could believe differently than my president, etc. But my students knew I was Christian.
Homeschooling was something I never really considered when my kids were little. There are definite advantages to this. But again, each situation, child, parent, means this is not the best schooling for everyone. I always liked being my child's advocate. After a day at school, the home was their haven. I liked my children seeing different expectations from different teachers, yet all being Christian. I think a drawback of parochial/private schools is an elitist attitude: n attitude that all public school kids are heathens or juvenile delinquents. I've worked to prevent that idea, but it is an uphill battle. I think home schooled kids, have an even stronger pull to see the world as us versus them. And the us group is very, very small and the them is most of the world. Again, I'm not making a universal statement for all homeschoolers, but an observation of an easy pitfall. Different parents are better able to teach their own children. Even as a teacher, I'm not sure I'm the one to be school teacher for my kids. I've taught my girls lots, and often taught them a great deal while helping with homework. But that's still a very different role than teacher of all things. If you look around, each choice [public, private/parochial or home school] has graduates that are bright, articulate, kind people and each has maladjusted criminals. Parenting will always have a stronger impact than schooling and so much more than an educational system forms a child.

Teenaged Angst

It's interesting how different people show their anxiety. The Imp is getting apprehensive about events coming in the next 2 weeks.
Next Friday she has her wisdom teeth removed. She's only recently been able to get her flu shot without hyperventilating and making a production. And that's only with me holding her hand repeating the mantra "Just look at me. Breathe deep. Just look at me..." So the idea of someone cutting her gums to remove teeth not yet emerged freaks her out....alot. We had to watch a video that explains the procedure AND all the possible reactions. She almost passed out just watching the video and covered her ears and closed her eyes when they put diagrams up showing the steps of the actual extraction. So even though we don't discuss the upcoming "event" anymore, it still looms in her subconscious.
Then in 10 days she starts at a new school. She's always gotten "first day of school jitters" even when going back to a known. She's not 100% in favor of transferring schools (not totally against it either) and she's worried over the social situation.
Me? I'm a talker. Something in the near future stressing me? Let me talk it out. Almost anyone will do. Let me look at it from every angle. Imagine the worst possible scenario and how I'd survive it. This over analysis will calm me. Not the Imp. She firmly believes that not acknowledging the stressful event will either a) make it less stressful or b) maybe it will go away. Avoidance is one of her top coping techniques. So she doesn't want to talk about her surgery or starting at a new school but is still very uneasy about them both...so she has to have an outlet. That outlet is vehement, loud, indignant protesting of her school uniform. Her verbal rampages make the uniform sound like something from a Victorian era boarding school.

She walks around ranting about her belief that uniforms are, by their very nature, tortuous and cruel. Her actual uniform consists of khaki pants and a green pullover. Horrors!

And to add insult to her already injured sense of fashion, shoes must be dark brown or black and tie. No athletic shoes allowed.
So these shoes would all be acceptable.






These wouldn't



And these are what she really wants to wear.





And then, what really pushes her completely over the edge of sanity is the sock requirement. They must be white and cover the ankle bone. I don't know. I think someone needs to nominate me for worst mom award for allowing the school to impart such harsh conditions upon my child.
As you can tell, my patience with the whole uniform thing is about gone...okay it IS gone. But I'm trying not to kill her and remind myself that this is the way she's expressing her angst. There are definitely worse ways. But once school starts there's a 'no complaining about uniform' rule unless she wants me to create a weekend uniform for her as well.

Oh, she's walking through the house, as I type, complaining about the fact her shirt must be tucked in (despite the pictures showing otherwise, apparently the administration is cracking down on this rule). "I can't believe I have to tuck my shirt in! Well, I'm gonna blouse it over so it doesn't look tucked-in. It looks so stupid to tuck your shirt in. This is so stupid. How I dress does not make me a good or bad person. They need to focus on something a little more important than my shirttail."

I give up. But I am instituting a moratorium on uniform talk for the 8-hour car trip we're about to make!

Driver's Ed

The Imp got her permit last week and I reluctantly took her out yesterday for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised. She has more spacial coordination and/or eye hand coordination than her sister and is much better naturally at driving. I almost didn't survive teaching the Singer how to drive, and we'd come home from each 'lesson' tense and angry. With the Imp it is so much more relaxed. Part of that is temperament since the Singer and I are too much alike for me to teach her much of anything.

Finally got the Imp's schedule set for next year. Since she's transferring from the IB program her sequencing of classes is all messed up. The IB is an international curriculum so its courses do not match Fl state grad requirements exactly. Some of the issues are odd. The Imp took a semester of World History and then second semester she took American Government. So she needs second semester of World History to meet Florida grad require. And semester II of World Hist is only offered during the second semester. There's the PE requirement-- it is waived for the IB program since the IB requires students to earn "Action Hours" outside of school. Then there's the fact that Tampa Catholic requires 28 credits for graduation. The Imp only earned 6 credits this past year, so she's technically a credit behind. But I think we've finally got it all worked out. It only took 4 phone calls and 2 emails to get the person we needed to finally contact us.

Tomorrow we're off to pick up her summer reading books. She has 2 1/2 weeks to read them. Plenty of time for her.

The Singer is starting work at the law firm on Monday. Thank goodness! Her lethargy in the house was driving me batty! She's been home for 12 weeks already and that's too long. She's still here for 4 more! Going to work every day will save us both. Unfortunately she won't be able to make our trip to SC to see my folks next weekend.

Rock the Universe Here She Comes

At 'Voice of An Angel' auditions the Singer made it to call back auditions at Universal Studios during Rock the Universe Sept 12, 2009! Yippee! Not only is she thrilled to be able to compete then, Casting Crowns and Toby Mac (mine and Hubby's favorite artists respectively) are playing. We're psyched. So you know where we'll be on September 12.
The Singer had a week of good news. She got the job at the lawyer's office. She meets with them this week to set up her schedule. She is excited and relieved. Having a car carries financial responsibilities she didn't have as a scholarship student at college. She is thrilled that this is a job she can continue through summers and all 3 years left at college.

The Imp had a fantastic week at St. Leo's. So she's walking around on a retreat high still. Of course she came home wheezing, so she's on the nebulizer every 4 hours. I'm hearing her little tight chest *cough* *cough* as I'm writing this. I heard it all night, too. She's exhausted from the little sleep she received on retreat and without getting full oxygen, it's hard for her to get rejuvenated. Fortunately, she's got nothing really to do this week except recover.

After a very stressful end to the school year, we've decided the IB program isn't the best place for the Imp. Lots of reasons, but to put it succinctly, it's because staying in IB would require her to be a student only. In order to succeed, she'd have to give up everything else: the swimming, the singing, helping at St. Leo retreats, etc. She doesn't really have the desire to do that. Although when I brought up leaving the IB, the Imp was resistant. Leaving friends is hard. But one of the first things she said after getting home from retreat was "Mom, I think God put it on your heart for me to change schools so I can 'do' lots of retreats this year." So she'll be starting at the Singer's Alma Mater, Tampa Catholic, on August 12. We meet with a counselor this week to make her schedule so she can start her summer reading. Of course, our budget will have to contain major changes. Catholic schooling isn't cheap. But if we can do it and it's best for her...then we will. The Imp did lament that after last summer having the longest break ever: almost a full 3 1/2 months since going to a Catholic schools she got out mid-May and then switching to public school she was out until the last week of August. This year she went to early June and goes back mid-August-- just over 2 months. Oh well. She'll be fine once school starts.
Lots going on but can't complain about any of it.

Voice of An Angel

The house is awfully quiet without the Imp around. I actually got to spend an hour on my lounge floatie in the pool yesterday. I was preparing for my Bible Study, but it was great to soak up the sun.

I'm busy planning my fall garden. My cukes are gone...bugs and sun. And my tomatoes are gone. Any good gardener will tell you that July and August are not months for tomatoes in Florida. My green and red peppers are still producing. I'm planning what I'll start inside during August...definitely onions and more beans (reverse of northern states, I have to protect my new plants from heat not cold and wait until we start having cooler...that means below 75...nights before planting outside).

The Singer is all excited. There is another voice competition called Voice of An Angel. It's sort of like Florida's Christian American Idol. Part of the application process is listing service work done by the participant. She just found out about it and the audition is this Sunday. Of course, I've always said she had a voice like an angel, so I'm sure she'll do great!

Hubby and I have been busy coordinating the showing of "Fireproof" this Friday at our Marriage Ministry meeting. We're pretty excited about it. The movie will never win any artistic awards but the message is powerful and it's a feel good movie about marriage. Hubby and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary this December. We're trying to decide how to celebrate it. A room on the beach sounds good to me.

The Singer has been busy. She had an interview at a law office (for office help) yesterday and got called for a second interview tomorrow. It's close to the university, so would be great to keep year-round. It stays open 'till 10 at night so she can get hours in beyond the normal 9-5. I hope the interview goes well tomorrow.

St Leo Retreat Center

The Imp left last night for a week's retreat at St. Leo Abbey. That she has been impatiently waiting for this and thinks it's the best way to spend a week out of her summer warms my heart. She's been talking about going for weeks. In fact, a week BEFORE we went to the beach she asked if she could start packing for St. Leo's. This from a girl who normally flies by the seat of her pants and is not known for her plan-ahead personality. Hubby drove her up to the Abbey last evening. I had to send her outside more than once yesterday as she was literally bouncing off the walls and the excited energy radiating from her was distracting. I was trying to finish the dress she wanted. Unfortunately, I got everything but the zipper and hem complete before she had to leave. But I worked on it from after church until the moment she left, trying to get it done. She had cut out all the pieces for me earlier in the week. But...she didn't read all directions thoroughly and I had to recut some pieces and figure out how to make others work after we'd used up all the extra material. I had made some alterations on the bodice for more appropriate coverage, so the final product should look very good on her. The Singer is making a similar dress (same pattern, different view) and I've altered the bodice for her, as well. The benefit of home-sewing...you can make the slight adjustments you talk about in the dressing room ('This would be perfect if only this were a little smaller/larger'). The Singer wants to sew her dress today and Wednesday.

Saturday night we had our Teams couple group over. It really is so refreshing to spend time with these people. And for as single-minded as we are (all conservative Catholic) it is amazing at how different we live out our shared beliefs. The stimulating conversation from Saturday plus a part of the movie, "New in Town" had me mulling over how to witness a Christain life. The Singer's favorite quote is from St. Francis "Preach the gospel constantly. Use words if you have to." And for the most part I agree with that. However, if I never attribute my actions to my belief in Jesus, then I'm not really preaching Christainity, but simply a life of love and consideration. There is a large following of Humanism and with the belief in "the common moral decencies: altruism, integrity, honesty, truthfulness, responsibility." You can see where not specifying what motivates your behavior you may not be preaching the gospel of Jesus. In the movie, set in Minnesota, a woman says something to the effect that her small-town ways, her long a's and her mentioning Jesus in everyday conversation bothers you. And it's true, bring up Jesus/God too frequently and you make others uncomfortable and they tend to judge you as Bible-thumping, etc. But if they are truly tolerant, why not tolerant that it is, indeed, my belief in Jesus that prompts me to altruism, integrity, honesty and responsibility? [Being interrupted by the phone and my daughter, I've lost my train of thought}

"Not Ready Yet"

The Singer went to audition for "American Idol" today, along with 10,000 other people. She spent an hour slowly moving along for the last 2 miles of the drive. She auditioned and they said "You're not ready yet." She had a good time. Felt she did well. Thinks she could've picked a better song for her audition and plans to try out when they come close to Tampa again. I'm so happy she had a good experience. My secret hope was for her to make it past this first selection but not any farther. I have great reservations about what one would be exposed to in the 'entertainment world.' We've got enough temptations and struggles living our little ol' lives. I'm just glad it's over. I think I was more anxious over the whole thing than she was. I'm very proud that she was willing to try.

On another positive note, she was actually called for a job interview today. She applied to this law office a few weeks back. She heard nothing so figured they weren't interested (she knew they were hiring from a friend...that's why she applied). So she has an interview Tuesday morning. This could be a great part-time job throughout college.

Time Crunch

My little Imp got her driver's permit today. I'm actually very pleased. She turned 15 in December (when she could have gotten her permit) and said she didn't have time to take the online Drug and Substance Abuse class required before getting your permit with all her school obligations. She said she'd do it over Spring Break. Spring Break came and went...no go. We are now almost at the end of the summer and she finally got around to doing it. She can't get her license until she has her permit for a full year. I know next summer is going to be hard, she'll want to drive, but won't be able to because she won't have her license until July.

I just finished painting the doors for our bathroom. We should be able to get them back up tonight. Yea! Then this job will be complete and all the paraphernalia will be able to be put away, and we'll have use of our garage for our car again.

Now I'm off to help the Imp sew a dress she wants to take with her on her retreat week. She leaves Sunday afternoon. I'm having 12 people for dinner on Saturday and have lots of house cleaning chores to do and will be gone all day tomorrow. Again, this is something she's talked about all summer and is just now getting around to it. And wants my help.

Summer Time

Hubby's Father Day was pretty great for him. He got a new grill that he and the Imp broke in; he got a new TV, courtesy of credit card points, and he got to sit around and drink beer and relax.



The next week we went to Madiera Beach (just across the bay) and had a great time. While we were there the girls told us a story about the last time they'd been to the beach (a week earlier) by themselves. Apparently, the Singer (older sister) saw a fin in the water...very close to where they were in chest deep water. So the Singer yelled at the Imp to get out of the water. So in a flurry of screaming and running, they made it up on the beach. They turned around and saw a dolphin playing in the gulf. The Singer said she was so scared, thinking it was a shark. Remarkably, they both had no problem going in the gulf while on vacation.

We celebrated the Singer's 19th birthday while there.



I spent one day at the beach making her birthday cake. It was my first attempt at using fondant. It was fun to experiment with and I'll probably do it again, but fondant just isn't very tasty.





The Imp brought a friend along to the beach. I was surprised at how empty the beach was. But I'm definitely not complaining. I love it like this.







Saturday, Hubby's cousin and family came over to the beach to celebrate. The kids had fun watching the sun set and acting goofy in front of the camera. It took quite a few shots to get the timing right for

Ready, Set....



JUMP!



Hubby and I spent the long weekend painting our bathroom. There are so many corners and things to paint around in a bathroom...very few big walls. Taping took almost as much time as painting. As usual, the job turned into a bigger one than planned for. Hubby was taking off the tank to the toilet to make painting behind it easier and noticed it damp around the bowl. He removed the bowl to find the flange was cracked. In between painting he worked on fixing that. If your house was built well, it wouldn't be a problem. Our house was built as part of a planned neighborhood. Lots of houses going up as quickly as possible. So after watching a few good videos online on how to fix it, and multiple trips to the hardware store, and 2 days having to share the girls' bathroom, the flange was not fixed. We had to call in a plumber today! Over $200. Ouch! But once it's fixed our bathroom will look really good...except that I still have to paint the linen closet door which is in the garage.

American Idol

American Idol is holding auditions in Orlando July 9. The Singer is bound and determined to 1) get an audition and 2) make it to the show. She's pretty excited. Personally, I think she's got what it takes, both from a voice perspective and being quite a charming personality. But what do I know, I'm just the mom. As a non-watcher of the show, I have no advice for her, except "Do your best," "Be yourself." And "If you don't make it, don't let it crush you." She's scheduled times with her voice teacher, who also does not watch the show. So we're going in blind. At least it's something interesting to look forward to.

I made Chocolate chip meringue cookies the other day. I was surprised at how easy they were, how good they were and they're only 21 calories per cookie. I think I'll be making them again, and soon. The Imp absolutely loves them. In fact, I think I'll make them for our pastor's good-bye party. After 20 years at our parish (unusual for a Catholic church) he's being re-assigned. There'll be a big hoopla after all the Masses next weekend. The Women's Guild is asking for lots of baked goods. It's going to be a big deal. I'm looking forward to meeting our new pastor, too. We're also getting a new music director (both start on July 1). So lots of changes in store for our church.

Guys tend to be harder to shop for than women. The girls never have trouble coming up with what to do for me for any special event. The choice of things that'll make a mom say "Ohhhh, how wonderful!" are many. The girls have had their picture made at Penney's, made powerpoint presentations that essentially say, "We love you." And bought me cute knick knacks, all with equal success. Father's Day is next weekend and the girls are stumped. For years they've made him T-shirts. Decorating them with various sayings. The first one they made (when they were 4 and 1) had their handprints on it. Then they did a thumbprint one (where you make the thumbprints into people).



Because Hubby doesn't wear the T-shirts all the time (primarily because he doesn't want to wear them out...he used to wear them more) the girls don't want to make him any more. So they're left with a week to figure it out. I agree with them that getting something for my mom is way easier than for my dad. Dad's wish lists tend to be smaller but with bigger ticket items. My own dad's list includes an acrobatic airplane...that's a real one that he could get in and fly! Hubby's list would include a new gas grill, a plasma TV, an iPhone, etc. Sort of "Keep on dreamin'" kind of items.

2 Years Already

It's hard to believe that it has already been 2 years since my little brother, John died from ALS. He was so full of life, even when his body was slowly becoming useless, that it doesn't seem possible that he isn't still here. I miss him. I love living in Florida, but wish we were closer to John's widow. How our brains process information is interesting. How memories of certain events can be so vivid, that they seem as if they happened just yesterday, even though years of other memories actually exist.
I wore my "Piece by Piece" ALS awareness T-shirt


yesterday when volunteering and one of the other volunteers said her ex-husband's aunt was diagnosed 2 years ago. It amazes me for a disease that isn't "common" how many people know someone (or know someone who knows someone) who has/had it.

The beans and green peppers in my garden are still doing well, but I'm fighting some pests and fungus on my cucumbers, tomatoes and cantaloupe. I planted my cantaloupe too close together and am afraid that is a contributing factor. I'm enjoying the products of my gardening but have to fight feeling inadequate when I lose produce to disease or pests. The Singer reminded me of a saying I gave to her on a poster, "Striving for Excellence Motivates You; Striving for Perfection is just demoralizing." Guess I'm still striving for perfection. Ugh.

I'm reading Gary Smalley's Making Love Last Forever. Quite interesting. Most marriage books contain great information about improving any relationship. This is no different. Smalley talks in great detail how anger occurs when your expectations and reality are vastly different. You think (expect/predict) your hubby is going to be thrilled with dinner and thank you. Reality: he shovels the food down without comment and possibly even says something about are fixing anything better tomorrow. You become hurt and angry. Often the anger is manifested from exactly such mundane encounters. So sometimes your expectations need to change. But other times a true injustice takes place and your anger is an indication that change is needed in the reality. I expect to be safe from physical abuse. If I'm abused, my expectations don't need to change, my situation does. Lots of other pearls in his book. It's a good read.

Dumb Decision

Let me set the stage, as the story (and my aggravation/amazement) has much more meaning knowing all that happened leading up to the Singer's poor decision.
The Singer's best friend from college lives just north of Ft Lauderdale (across the state). The friend had knee surgery at the beginning of May and has been laid up. So many of her friends have gone to visit to keep her occupied and upbeat. So Mid-May the Singer hops in her new car and putt-putts over there. Not home but a few days and she was requesting to go again. She's telling me all about which friends are going when and in that conversation mentions that the boyfriend (and we'll not go into all my thoughts on that one) has to go visit again so he can go to court in Collier county because on each of his previous 2 trips to see her he got a speeding ticket on Alligator Alley. At this same time she's asking to go, she and I sat down to come up with her summer budget. She has most of what she earned in high school saved up, but told me she wanted to spend less than she was scheduled to make this summer. So we sat down and figured out things she'd want to spend money on this summer (movies, clothes, gas). And made a nice little budget and had a great talk about budgeting. It ended with me telling her how proud I was she was not planning on spending any of her savings and would end the summer ahead of where she began. As you can predict, she blew it. She got a speeding ticket on Alligator Alley.


I get a call, "Mom....I got a speeding ticket." "How fast were you going?" "Ummm, 15 miles over." "What?!" "But the good news is the cop only wrote me up for seat belt violation, so there's no points and it's only [only?] $98. I sort of got caught up in my music and wasn't paying attention." As if telling me she's not paying attention while she's racing in her car will make me feel better!
After counting to 20 (10 wasn't going to handle it) and biting my tongue so I won't scream into the phone, "And you didn't think that maybe Alligator Alley was a speed trap after hearing about the other tickets?" I think her ticket was given within 10 miles of the boyfriends'. I mentioned she'd have to adjust her budget to accommodate the $98 she was now spending. She tells me she'll just use her savings. Ugh!
Overall, I think she gets it...budgeting and being responsible, but she gets it only as much as a teenager can. Oh how I hate seeing my kids make dumb mistakes.

What Happened to May?

The Singer finally got her car. We'd promised her a car if she got the Bright Future's Scholarship to college. We'd buy the car but she had to pay insurance, gas, etc. Last summer the Singer decided that she wanted to wait a year before having to worry about money like that. Hubby and I really wanted to get her a new car, so reliability and upkeep weren't concerns. We just got her a 2009 Toyota Yaris.



She wasn't sure she was going to like it, until it was hers. She loves it. It's great for Hubby and I, too, from a logistical point of view. With the Singer working, having her own car makes life a lot easier.

The girls, once again, had their pictures made for me for Mother's Day. Of course, I think it's about the best gift ever. And of course, I think they're gorgeous, too.


My birthday/Mother's Day celebration this year was very different than in previous years. Normally the week or week and a half between Mother's Day and my birthday is "Adele is Queen" time. Hubby and the kids tend to make dinners, clean up, and we have bookend celebrations, starting with Mother's Day and ending with my birthday cake. I must say I look forward to May every year. I am spoiled. I know it, I love it and I appreciate it.
This year, I spent the first week of May driving to SC to get my parents and then drive to Baltimore, MD to pick up my sister (who was there on business), then drive to Lancaster, PA to see my sister-in-law, my nieces and my brother, Chris', gravesite. The trip itself was really good. Getting to see both my sisters and spend time with my parents was great. My sister-in-law looks great and the girls seem like perfectly normal little girls (I'm sure Cameron, at age 12, doesn't appreciate being called a little girl, but...). Cameron looks so much like my Imp at that age it's uncanning. They both obviously have strong Ellis genes. My friend said that Camille has a strong resemblence to my Singer. Maybe...but not like the Imp and Cameron.

I arrived back home on Mother's Day with my family at a community celebration. The next week, Hubby and I flew to Sharon, PA to visit his family since his brother from Seattle was in town. So I was in cold Pennsylvania on my birthday. So we finally had my one day celebration (instead of week-long) on the 23rd.



At the beginning of May, we participated in the Walk to Defeat ALS. We made shirts in John's honor. The walk was well attended. It felt good to be doing something. We raised over $700 for John's team. Can't believe in a few days it'll be 2 years since he died.


With all that going on, May disappeared right before my eyes. It's already June 5!

Yukky Bugs

Yuk! I just spent my morning outside picking Japanese Beetles off of my rose bushes and dropping them into soapy water. Yuk! But it had to be done. I refuse to allow those bugs to kill my roses. When I discovered the beetles on my roses over the weekend, I was quite surprised. I've had rose bushes for over 10 years in my yard and this is the first time I've had Japanese Beetles. I'm not happy. Picking up bugs...any bugs is just not my idea of fun. But I'll be out there again tomorrow morning with my soapy water and my gloved hands. Otherwise, I've been enjoying my garden. My bean plants are producing enough to have beans every 3 or 4 nights, my onions are maturing, I've got a few cucumbers every couple of days, and my lettuce is thriving. My cantaloupe and pepper plants have blooms and my carrots are getting bigger. I love going out and 'surveying' my gardens. I'm already planning a new bed for the fall. I've got to plan better placement so I can rotate the crops appropriately. My cucumbers have a little bitter taste to them and after reading, I think I planted them too close to my onions. Interesting. Of course, when I planted them I thought my onions would have been all harvested by now.

The Singer and 2 of her college buds came over Saturday afternoon for a relaxing time before exam week. Hubby grilled some burgers and I served up some home-grown green beans with home-grown onions and some home-grown cucumbers. They devoured it all and were so appreciative. The weather was perfect and after eating they leaned back in the lounge chairs and took a nap.

I've been doing a lot of scrapping lately. I got a new toy...my Mother's Day and birthday present early. Hubby got me a Cricut I've been having loads of fun with it. The Imp used it to make letters for her school project, too. I'm making good progress on my books and I simply love doing it.

The Passion of Christ as Told by Legos

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She Died of Depression

When I think of depression I think of an "ugly" disease. I'm not sure what I think is a pretty disease. Depression is still an illness people don't want to talk about. It carries a stigma with it. Too many people still believe the depressed person needs to just "snap out of it." As if. Cancer saps the life-force out of person's body; depression saps it from the very soul.
A friend of mine died of depression last week. IT is still hard for me to write about it, but so many thoughts about it have been whirling around in my mind, I think if I write about it, they may be quieted.
How does one die of depression? It is often called suicide.
If you knew my friend before she was ravaged by depression, you would never, ever believe she would take her own life. She embodied the notion of letting the Holy Spirit fill her. She was extremely kind. Being less than kind on many occassions, and having to work hard at being kind in others, when I first met "Jane" I didn't think she could be genuine. How can someone not complain, or whine, or find fault with some of the real doobers we meet? But as you got to know her, you knew...she was one of the people you say has a kind heart. I know I never heard her say a bad word about someone else. Never. Reading the messages left on the online guestbook, that sentiment was reiterated over and over. She was at peace with her life and her God. I knew Jane through Engaged Encounter. People you know through something like Engaged Encounter are in a group of special friends. You may not spend a lot of time with them, but having spent a weekend retreat with them, you know things about them on a very deep level and they know the same about you. There is a bond there that is very powerful. I hadn't seen Jane for over a year, and didn't know she was suffering from depression...it was never put out on our prayer chain...because of the stigma of depression. Speaking with her husband after the funeral, he said he had lost Jane long before this...depression had taken away the spark in her that was so key to who she was.
He was devasted, especially because they (doctors and family) thought she was turning a corner in recovery. Depression robs you of your 'will to do,' slowly draining all desire and hope. It is a mental paralysis, making any activity a monumental task. There are a number of anti-depresant medicines that come with a warning, that suicidal tendencies increase at the beginning of taking them. It has been speculated that the medicine removes enough of the mental paralysis that suicide seems viable to the patient because the paralysis leaves faster than the hope returns.
Jane and her husband were extremely active in Engaged Encounter. They held numerous local and district leadership positions. They travelled to most conventions. They touched thousands of lives. The world has truly lost a light, an angel.
The funeral was beautiful. 5 priests concelebrated. All knew her personally, all were crushed at how her illness progressed to this point.
I cannot say that all who commit suicide are clinically depressed, but I do know that just like some cancer patients die of some infection or other complication, and we still say they died of cancer, a depressed person who dies of suicide, really died of depression. And just as family and friends are not responsible for cancer taking their loved-one's life, they are not responsible for the effects of depression either.

St Patricks Day

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St. Patrick's Day is a fun holiday. Low-pressure kind of day...no presents required. Wearing green, eating green food and drinking green beer. I can handle that. The only problem is Hubby gave up beer for Lent so I guess I'll skip the green beer to be nice to him. It's just a feel-good kind of day. I like that.

Two Saturdays ago we went over to Titusville to see Hubby's cousin who hosts an annual music fest which they call "Goat Fest" for reasons to convoluted to try to explain. Just accept it. Their boys (17 and 19) are great musicians who play almost every stringed instrument known to man. Their dad (Hubby's cousin) is of Slavic (Polish) descent and their mom is 100% Greek and their music specialty is....IRISH MUSIC. Go figure. Actually they're beginning to play more Blue Grass music, but it's still kind of funny. They have a gazebo in their huge back yard and invite all their friends to come and listen to or play music. There was a teen-aged girl playing the harp with her younger brother on the violin; a family of 6 playing country-christian music; a middle-aged couple playing 70s ballads. It was just great fun. There was hot dogs, and potluck salads and desserts. We stayed all afternoon and into the night. We had a great time. Both girls came with us. They love their cousins and ended up spending the night and talking 'til 2 or 3 in the morning. Hubby's aunt and uncle, from Pennsylvania, were there too, so we got to catch up with them.

The Singer is home on Spring Break this week. It's great to have her around, although, as is often the case with college-aged children, she has spent more time visiting her friends than with us so far. But she has also been a great chauffeur for the Imp. It's nice to have a break from all her activities.

The Imp has started swimming again with a local club team. She picked this team because a few of her friends from her school swim team are there. She was pleasantly surprised to see Ben there, as well. Ben is the younger sibling of the teenager who died last summer in a ski-jet accident. The family goes to our church. The Imp thinks Ben is great and is glad to have time to be with him.

I've been spending time in my garden. It's lots of fun, and is teaching me some patience...or forcing me to have some. I've got my beans and cucumbers and green & red peppers and lettuces and carrots and cantaloupes. Hubby and I spent Saturday in our front flower garden...pruning the dead away from the freezes and weeding. It looks so much better. We need to put out fresh mulch this week.

Sunday saw us at the beach! We don't usually go to the beach on the weekends during "spring break" time as the traffic there and back is always bad. But, we braved it anyway. With the SEC basketball championship games here, the traffic was even worse. It took us 2 hours to get to "our" beach when it usually takes us 45 minutes! But the beach itself wasn't too crowded and by the time we left at 7:30, it was pretty empty. It was wonderful. The Singer is planning on surprising the Imp on Friday and picking her up from school early (she has study hall last period) and taking her to the beach. It really is wonderful to see how great of friends they are.

Stealing

The story about a stolen bike at USF illustrates so much of what is out of whack in our society. First a college dean (yes that is a position of authority making over $300,000 a year) helps a day laborer take a bike the dean knew did not belong to either of them. His defense, "I failed to consider that the bicycle belonged to someone on our Alzheimer's team." So if it belonged to someone else, it would be okay to take it? His other defense, given in an interview Friday, Rao said he never intended to keep the bike.
"How stupid would that be? I knew the cameras were there."
Well, let's see, how stupid is it to take something that doesn't belong to you without asking? So I guess, I can take Rao's car, as long as I return it...sometime. I'm flabbergasted that he is so flippant about what he did.
On the other hand, that the university then demanded his resignation seems a little overboard. It was wrong, stupid, not well-thought out, but is it really an offense requiring resignation? This all-or-nothing mentality is ludicrous. I'm not sure what the university should do as to Rao...making him buy some bikes for free use on campus may be a good idea. But resignation? Seems like everybody is "failing to consider.." a lot of things.

Makes me think of the book, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." by Robert Fulghum. Some of those things include... play fair, don't hit people, clean up your own mess, DON'T TAKE THINGS THAT AREN'T YOURS, say you're sorry when you hurt somebody, warm cookies and cold mike are good for you. Yep, pretty simple and unfortunately too rarely followed.
Bottom line. Stealing is wrong.

Valentine's Day...UGH

Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday. It always has been. In high school, I had few boyfriends...and never it seemed at Valentine's Day. So I was clearly on the outs. Even in elementary school when Valentine's were exchanged with the whole class, I was often still the "new girl" and even if I received cards, I knew they were given out of obligation, not any true affection for me. Now, as a married woman of 24 years, you'd think my opinion of Valentine's Day may have changed. Nope. More often than not, Hubby and I are not in a period of high romance as Valentine's Day approaches. And I hate being told how to feel or act. If we're not operating at the 'newlywed bliss' level in our relationship...any and everything done for me is suspect. Does he really want me to have flowers or is he doing it out of fear of not doing it? (I rarely get flowers, BTW) And how genuine is my love for him, if his failure to 'produce' appropriate gifts causes strife? Look, I love my husband, more than I ever thought I could love another person. He is the single best person to ever come into my life and I am truly blessed to have him decide to marry me. (How's that for over-the-top sugary-sweet sentiment? It is true, though.) But come on, I better show him how much I love him more often than Christmas, his birthday and Valentine's Day. And I'd much rather have him do the dishes, make me coffee, or listen to me ramble at the end of the day than have him give me a diamond we can't afford. Fortunately, because Hubby is so incredibly wonderful, he feels the same. All pressure is off of us on Valentine's Day. We do exchange cards and usually some gift, but refuse to fall into the trap of feeling obligated to plan elaborate nights out, or pay twice the normal rate for a dozen roses. Trust me. Flowers sent on a day that is not "special" will gain more bang for the buck. A get-away planned for March will actually be more romantic than one planned for Valentine's Day. Love is not something to acknowledge periodically, it is something that is lived each day and demonstrated in the little every day stuff. While I have friends who say they agree with me philosophically, they seem to judge their spouses/significant others by how well they 'celebrate' this day. Forget Valentine's Day...just focus on the love.

Milkshake Moments

I'm reading a book "The Milkshake Moment: by Steven S. Little. It's about management, but as often, I'm not looking at the information from the view it was written. I think we as individuals have Milkshake Moments and limit our own responses as much as corporate rules limit us in the workplace. The author uses the example of trying to order a milkshake from room service. The worker states, "We don't have milkshakes." The author then asks for a bowl of ice cream and a tall glass 1/2 filled with milk and a long spoon and makes his own milkshake. The point of the story from the author's view, is the response of the worker in room service. I like to focus on the author's response. This is what I want to teach my children... how to solve their own problems. Many people would have ranted and raved to the worker (who, was after all, only following procedure) and then gotten off the phone, frustrated and still without the coveted milkshake. I want to teach my children not to create their own processes that bind them but to use simple common sense in discovering actions to solve problems. Let's face it, a milkshake that is stirred, not blended (shaken) is NOT the same as a well made milkshake, but given the alternatives...slightly sub-perfect milkshake or no milkshake...well...make do. I'm not trying to advocate accepting every system as it is and not trying to change it, i.e. tell the hotel manager of the event (the following day) and suggest staff training in problem solving. But I'm advocating that the easier person to change is yourself. I often hear, it's not life's circumstances that determine your happiness/contentment but your response to them. I often heard that saying in thought it was encouraging passive acceptance of your situation. But I now know I believe that it's not accepting everything, but working at changing those aspects of your life you do have control over and then accepting that which you don't. I'm only half way through the book and as I enter the endeavor of leading a marriage ministry in my church, I've taken some management ideas out of it. But to me, the truth being taught is more universal than management techniques and applies to life...How many milkshake moments have you had today? Did you find a way to make your milkshake or shrug and say, "we don't have milkshakes."?

I've Got a Normal Teenager

The Imp decided that she could slide by without doing all her homework. Progress reports came home today. Guess what? She can't. It's not like she's failing or anything, but jeez... not doing homework? And it's not like I don't encourage/nag her to complete it. And for the last 4 weeks she has consistently told me that all her homework was done. "Can I go to the movies?" "Is your homework done?" "YES!" Guess I now get to suffer through her being grounded. Nothing earth-shattering...just tiring. I guess, in some ways, it's nice to know she's a normal teenager....actually I think she's better than a normal teenager, but she'd be hard to live with if she were perfect. She'll get her act together. She knew this was coming. Monday night and last night she cuddled up to me on the couch and asked for help with her homework. She knows that the grade isn't near as important as the effort. So she worked hard at demonstrating how diligent she was by even getting assistance on her homework. Smart kids can be very cunning...and if they aren't practiced at it, very transparent.


Spent time in the garden today. Fertilized and turned the bigger bed getting ready for carrots, cucumbers, peppers and beans. Still harvesting great red potatoes. Trying to keep better records this season.

Been spending time on FaceBook connecting with old friends. People I knew in high school...I graduated 28 years ago!!! Guess I'm getting older.

BBBRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

It's way too cold here in Florida!
Last night we had a freeze warning and tonight we have a hard freeze warning (freezing temps over 4 hours). Bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Just talking about it makes me cold. In addition, we're having some fierce winds. Hubby and I took a walk today at lunch. Hubby made us turn around early because it was too cold. Actually, I thought it was cold, too, because of the wind. It was swirling right down the back of my shirt and I wasn't happy. Should've worn a sweatshirt with a hood.
I picked 4 potatoes to have with dinner tonight and then tucked all my plants in for the night. I don't have enough old sheets for all my plants, so I may lose some of my ornamental plants bordering my pool area. Actually, many of them will look terrible, but if I cut them back in March will come back this Spring. The ground doesn't freeze so the roots of most of the plants survive.
I'm spending time gearing up for the marriage ministry Hubby and I are starting and trying to raise awareness and money for ALS. http://web.alsa.org/site/TRC.
Next Wednesday, a friend and I are going to see the "Piece by Piece" display here in Tampa for ALS.








Hubby got ballroom dancing lessons for his birthday. I can't wait to start! This weekend we're sitting down and picking a class that fits our schedule. Should be fun. Another couple wants to do it with us...even more fun.

I spent yesterday and today painting the wooden letters the Singer got me for Christmas. The letters spell out "CRAFT CORNER." She cleared a space in her room, set up a folding table and told me I could use the space for scrap booking. She also bought a little plastic rolling cart for me to store stuff in. She left the letters bare wood, knowing I'd have fun painting and decorating them. I drew different craft implements on each letter. It was so much fun to plan and then do it. Now I have to get them hung. I can't wait.

Walk to D'Feet ALS

I just created a team to walk in Tampa's Walk to D'Feet ALS. If you'd like to support me click on the following link http://web.alsa.org/site/TRC and sign up under John's Super Duper Team.

I still miss John soo much.